A few days ago, noted Capitol rioting defendant Richard “Bigo” Barnett’s attorneys submitted court filings alleging that the government had gotten it all wrong, that the government was engaged in a “deliberate attempt” to paint Bigo in the “worst possible light.” Though their client had indeed left a note in House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s office after he infiltrated her workspace and propped his feet on a desk during the Jan. 6 invasion, the note did not say, “Nancy, Bigo was here, you bitch,” the defense explained. “Rather, it said, “Hey Nancy Bigo was here biatd.”
This, of course, changes everything.
If a rioter breaches the United States Capitol, amid a violent attempt to overturn an lawful election, and leaves a note calling the most powerful woman in government a bitch, then that would be bad. But if he leaves her a note calling her a “biatd,” that is obviously different. Biatd? It’s whimsical: We stormed the Capitol. Ha ha. Nancy will get a kick out of this. Biatd!
It could be a nickname? It could be that Bigo was trying to call Nancy a bialy, a holeless bagel, and simply lost his train of biadt.
Do you see?
Let’s look at context. Casually propping your feet on a desk in Pelosi’s office while marauding men stalked the halls and malevolently called out, “Oh Naaaancy” — and using that time to pen a threatening note to Pelosi — that would be rude. But by prefacing the note with “Hey,” and not just “Nancy,” then it is no longer rude because it’s no longer threatening. It’s casual. It’s biatd. Like, when kidnappers cut out letters from magazines to mail their threatening ransom notes, do they take the time to cut out, “h E Y”? Probably not. “Hey,” is something you only write when you’re a good guy leaving notes on the desk of the woman whose office you have just overtaken while storming the Capitol.
Also, commas. Commas, as all writers know, are acts of aggression. If a note left on a desk that doesn’t belong to you has commas, it’s unacceptable, but if the note has no commas then it’s a sign you come in peace, probably.
Oh, but wait now: There’s a footnote at the bottom of the court filings, explaining that while the note says “biatd,” the defense acknowledges “on information and belief” that what appears to be a “d” is a smushed together “c” and “h,” meaning that Bigo was actually calling Nancy a “biatch.” (Classic biatd-and-switch) Which is, the defense writes, citing freedictionary.com, a less offensive slang term for “bitch” which could be “a term of endearment or disparagement for another person.”
In other words, this might be more of a “Hey Grrrl” situation, as in “Hey Nance — Sorry I missed you, biatch! Let’s do Frosé Friday soon — Bigo.”
Do you see?
We are not going to get sidetracked into composing a hierarchy of b-word slang terms, ordered from most to least offensive (bitch, biatch, bee-yotch, biznitch, betch, bish). What we are going to do is note how important this distinction is.
When you purchase a 950,000-volt stun gun walking stick from a Bass Pro Shops in Arkansas and then drive to Washington and bring the stun gun walking stick to your Capitol siege, it would be alarming if you called the House Speaker a bitch. But if you called her a "biatch,” then it pretty much negates the stun gun, your honor.
Look. Is it a problem that in recordings from after the Capitol riot, Bigo brags to a reporter about how he wrote a note calling Pelosi a “bitch”?
Yes, but you have to understand, nobody knows how to pronounce “biatd.”
And yes, Richard Barnett could have enunciated “biatch” if that’s what he really meant to say, but just think of how dumb that would sound. He’s a grown man, not Regina George, for crying out loud. And she’s the speaker of the House!
Do you see?
Bigo had to have really, truly meant to call Nancy Pelosi “biatd,” the made-up sillytime word that nobody had ever heard before. Anything else would look really, really bad.
Monica Hesse is a columnist writing about gender and its impact on society. For more visit wapo.st/hesse.
