The Grammy Awards’ red carpet was so unremarkable Sunday night, it was hard to remember that this was the same venue that birthed Lady Gaga’s egg, Jennifer Lopez’s down-to-there Versace dress and Nicki Minaj’s priestly date.

The vibe was more “cousin’s wedding” than awards season highlight.

E! host Giuliana Rancic sounded genuinely surprised when commenting on the male attendees, as if shocked that her family could in fact clean up for a formal event. Kendrick Lamar was polished in a solid blue suit. Austin Mahone looked sophisticated in a custom blazer by Sanctuary 28.

Even “Thrift Shop” singers Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis were refined in green and houndstooth suits, respectively, as if prepared for a spin on the dance floor with the mother of the bride.

Paris Hilton, in Haus of Milani, looked like the random date that gossipy aunts dub too risque. Kacey Musgraves could have been a junior bridesmaid in a blush Armani Prive — adorable, but disappointing for the edgy country artist. Even Madonna, our Material Girl savior, wore a full black Ralph Lauren suit as if she were a female groomsman.

Thankfully, Katy Perry elevated the game with a Valentino straight from the couture runway last week. The gown was whimsical enough for the “Roar” singer, with a beautiful musical note pattern under sheer layers that would upstage any bride.

Aside from Perry, and Taylor Swift’s (predictably) sparkly Gucci column dress, there were few fashion moments of note.

Could Pharrell Williams’s bizarre Vivienne Westwood hat really be the star of the Grammys red carpet? Is this what music’s biggest night is like without Gaga? If so, we regret not buying “Artpop.”

A handful of details during the show became more noticeable in the vacuum of any outsized fashion declaration. Beyoncé’s black bandaged bodysuit undoubtedly had millions of women planning their new workout routine. Lorde’s commitment to berry-hued lipstick is a positive sign for the beauty trend. Her nails are another story. Daft Punk’s white wool coats were a nice change. And Macklemore’s bolero should really be emulated.

But if a dark shade of lipstick and one couture gown are the new norm for what was once a daring space, we may reply “Can Not Attend” next year.


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