The Globes — and its soggy red carpet — fulfilled its designated role on Sunday night as one of the more entertaining, laid-back and booze-filled awards shows.
The fashion was a similarly well-rounded mess of everything we could hope for: jaw-dropping elegance that suffered from a bit of sideboob, cape rivalries (which is now a whole thing), baby-bump-offs and a few “Oh my, what is that? I can’t…” moments to keep us on our sartorial toes.
Somewhere “American Hustle” costume designer Michael Wilkinson is high-fiving Diane von Furstenberg (who is celebrating the anniversary of the wrap-dress and the liberation of women’s breasts, both of which were clear inspirations for Wilkinson), and complimenting themselves on resurrecting plunging necklines and ’70s metallics.
Amy Adams, who took the award for best actress in a comedy for her role as an elegant con artist in “Hustle,” was hounded by jokes going into the night that her costumes in film made her more qualified for a Best SUPPORTED Actress award. Perhaps in a cheeky Give The People What They Want reply, Adams flaunted full under cleavage in a gorgeous Valentino.
”Wolf of Wall Street” break-out Margot Robbie cemented her newfound bombshell status in an impeccable cream and emerald Gucci, with open neckline, of course.
Not to be outdone, “House of Cards” actress Robin Wright revealed a little sideboob in what has to be the tamest wardrobe malfunction on record. But alas, there are quotas to be met, and by the grace of the Globes gods, all other starlets managed not to step on their gowns or show any more body parts than they had originally intended. So, sorry Robin, maybe you can get Rep. Francis Underwood in on a revenge plot for next year.
Newcomer Lupita Nyong’o proved confident enough to take on Her Holiness Gwenyth in a cape challenge. The “12 Years a Slave” actress’s Ralph Lauren gown was compared to Paltrow’s white Tom Ford sheath and cape combo, which she wore to the 2012 Academy Awards, but was deemed “different enough,” so we can continue being obsessed with all things Lupita. Adams also showed up in a matching red cape which was quickly removed. We imagine it was shoved in the backseat of a limo, never to be heard from again. Remember, quota, ladies.
In another interesting showdown, three expectant mothers demonstrated three very different ways to dress a baby bump. In exhibit A, Drew Barrymore opted for the traditional “tent” approach in a floral applique Monique Lhuillier. On the other side of the spectrum, Olivia Wilde went full-on “I’m not going to let a little pregnancy stop me from showing off my body,” in an emerald Gucci. Not-so-scandalizing Kerry Washington split the difference with a pale v-necked Balenciaga with mini-capelet.
In the Oh My God What Are You Doing To Yourself category, Zoe Saldana takes top honors in a horribly over-wrought Prabal Gurung. It’s difficult to notice the beautiful styling when the off-the-shoulder straps are screaming to be cut loose and the metallic top band is fighting with the pointy bodice. That’s not even getting into the appliques and game of asymmetric knee peek-a-boo.
Paula Patton could have topped several best-dressed lists in her body-hugging, full-sleeved Stéphane Rolland Couture gown. But sadly, the obtrusively large tissues attached to her left side were so distracting we were too busy daydreaming about shearing it off to hear the award she presented.
And Lena Dunham sadly has not learned any lessons on fit in the last year of her super-stardom. It’s okay Lena, we don’t blame you this time. But Mr. Zac Posen, your former babysitter and evening gown designer extraordinaire has some explaining to do.
Sandra Bullock and Taylor Schilling inhabit a murkier place in our list. A place of exceedingly high hopes and mild let-downs.
Neither actresses’ gown approaches offensive, though Sandy’s color combo is a bit unpalatable and Taylor’s neckline is a bit sad (we’re still on team slip dress, however). Both are far cries from some of their more successful red carpet looks.
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