(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
Editor and judge of The Style Invitational

Log cabin cruiser: A really old houseboat.

Today’s results combine two people’s names into one. For this week’s new contest, we’ll do a variation on that — one that some entrants to Week 963 did anyway because they didn’t read the directions. Instead of portmanteau names, Loser Jeff Contompasis suggests, let’s do portmanteau phrases: Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result, as in Jeff’s example above. The middle word may be only partly overlapped and the spelling may vary slightly (see today’s results for examples), but you need to be able to see both the end of one term and the beginning of the other. The terms can be anything that’s not some individual’s name — it can be a product, business, etc., as well as a generic term: basically, what wasn’t allowed in last time.

Winner gets the new Style Invitational trophy, the Inkin’ Memorial, a majestic li’l Lincoln Memorial-statue bobblehead. (The little plaque will look nicer than the one in the picture, which I printed out at home and taped to a file card.) Second place receives either a really cool bottle of Laotian liquor with a big preserved scorpion inside (you must be at least 21 and able to pick it up from us, preferably at the Flushies, the Losers’ own awards “banquet,” on May 12, because it might leak in the mail) or your choice of the other runner-up prizes. The bottle was donated by Loser 4 Ever Tom Witte. (Flushies info at bitly.com/flushies2012.)

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt, a yearned-for Loser Mug or the brand-new, yet-to-be-designed but surely hotly desired Grossery Bag, a lightweight tote. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, April 23; results published May 13 (online May 11). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 967” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. The alternative headline in the “Next week” line is by Mark Richardson; the subhead for this week’s honorable mentions was suggested by both Dave Prevar and Tom Witte. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev .

Report from Week 963

in which we asked for a “Before and After” name, one combining two names so that the end of one name is the beginning of the other: We did allow for spelling changes in that middle section, e.g., Paula Deen and Dean Martin could combine into Paula Deen Martin.

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

Sean Payton Manning: He was fined by the NFL for paying to get himself injured. (Gil Glass, Washington, a First Offender)

2. Winner of the Wonder Woman costume worn in an indie movie: B.B. King James: Lo, the Thrill hath gone; yea, it hath gone away from me. (David Ballard, Reston, Va.)

3. Danica PatRick Perry: The gas pedal makes the car go faster, the clutch pedal is used to change gears, and the third pedal is, um . . . gas, clutch and . . . I know this . . . (CRASH!) Oops. (Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.)

4. Rick Santorumpelstiltskin: He spun hayseeds into gold. (Nan Reiner, Alexandria, Va.)

Overlapses: Honorable mentions

Little Orphan Annie Oakley: “The gun’ll come out tomorrow.” (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

Elizabeth Taylor Swift: National Velveeta. (Alida DeCoster, Silver Spring, Md., a First Offender)

Jeremy Lindsay Lohan: Takes a shot — and down it goes! And another shot! And another! (Nan Reiner)

Dean Martin Luther King: Gave the famous “I’ll Have a Drink” speech. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

Michael Jackson Browne: “Doctor My Nose.” (Dave Coutts, Severna Park, Md.)

George Michael Jackson: He was caught getting a nose job in a public restroom. (Andy Bassett, New Plymouth, New Zealand)

Isaac Newton Gingrich: Proved the Fourth Law of Motion: What goes around comes around. (Ken Gallant, Little Rock, Ark.)

Joe Louis XIV: The Stun King. (Ann Martin, Bracknell, England)

Juan Ponce de Leon Spinks: Searched for the Fountain of Tooth. (Mike Gips, Bethesda)

Kermitt Romney: It’s not easy having green. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Les Paul Bunyan: Wields a heck of an ax. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

Martin Luther Vandross: Soul man whose work dominated the Top 95 list. (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)

Marion Barry Bonds: Pitcher set me up! (Mike Gips)

Ogden Nash Bridges: Candy is dandy, but killing is thrilling. (Phyllis Reinhard, East Fallowfield, Pa.)

Pamela Anderson Cooper: Host of “360-240-360.” (Dave Coutts)

Ray Charles Lindbergh: Amelia Earhart’s navigator. (Jeff Crockett, Austin, a First Offender)

Rick Warren Beatty: Author of “The Priapus-Driven Life.” (Randy Lee, Burke)

Ron Paul McCartney: “I believe in yesterday.” (Hal Crawford, Arlington, Va., a First Offender)

Sandra Fluke Skywalker: Symbol of the fight against the Dark Side. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)

Smurfetta James: One of the greatest blue singers. (Mark Richardson, Washington)

Olivia Newton-John Carter: Xanadon’t. (J.D. Berry, Springfield, Va.)

Lenny Bruce Lee: Fung Ku artist. (Harold Mantle, Lafayette, Calif.)

Martin O’Malley McBeal: Not just same-sex marriage, but unisex bathrooms, too! (John Kustka, Prince Frederick, Md.)

Humbert HumBert Parks: Host of the Junior Junior Miss Pageant. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Country Joe Biden: Give him an F. (Andy Bassett)

Elizabeth Taylorena Bobbitt: She cut short a lot of marriages. (Ann Martin)

George Will.I.Am: Leader of the G.O.Peas. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

Major Tom Cruise: His mind is floating in a tin can, far above the world. (Matt Monitto, Elon, N.C.)

Newt GingRich Little: Impersonates a leader, but generally makes a bad impression. (Kevin Dopart)

Nicole Richie Valens: La Bimbo. (Mike Caslin, Round Hill, Va.)

Patrick Henry Miller: “Give me libertines or give me death.” (Roy Ashley, Washington; Dixon Wragg, Santa Rosa, Calif.)

Pee-wee Herman Cain: Even keeping his hands to himself doesn’t keep him out of trouble. (Dixon Wragg)

Robert Frosty the Snowman: “Whose corncob pipe I think I know. / He runs across the village, though; / He will not see me stopping here / To watch his puddle grow below.” (Kevin Dopart)

Ron Paul Volcker: The only Fed chief to fire himself. (Chris Doyle)

Salvador Dali Parton: Famed painter of “The Persistence of Mammaries.” (Jeff Crockett; Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.; Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)

ShaKeira Knightley: Her hip bones don’t lie. (Sam Kobor, Great Falls, a First Offender)

Tiny Tim Tebow: “God bless us every win.” (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

Yo-Yo Ma Barker: Her gun wouldn’t fit in some puny violin case . . .(Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)

Next week: The Grossery Bag? or The Notorious B.A.G.

Still running — deadline Monday night — is our word ladder contest: washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational; click on “Week 966.”

Visit the online discussion group The Style Conversational, where the Empress discusses today’s new contest and results along with news about the Loser Community — and you can vote for your favorite among the inking entries, since you no doubt figured the Empress chose the wrong winner. If you’d like an e-mail notification each week when the Invitational and Conversational are posted online, write to the Empress at losers@washpost.com (note that in the subject line) and she’ll add you to the mailing list. And on Facebook, join the far more lively group Style Invitational Devotees and chime in.