Alissa said he had been shooting at a range where he had previously rented a pistol and thought it would be cheaper to buy his own, according to the relative, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the family fears for its safety. Three other more distant relatives, who also requested anonymity, described the family and its journey from Syria to the United States.
Alissa, 21, seemed uncertain about some of the basic mechanics of the weapon, a Ruger AR-556 pistol, and talked "about having a bullet stuck in the gun," according to a police affidavit. Police said he bought the weapon legally.
The family seized the pistol, and Alissa seemed to accept the decision, the relative said. On the day before the shooting, a Sunday, Alissa visited the home of one of his sisters.
"He was normal, he was playing with the children, laughing with them," the relative said. "They had a home-cooked meal. . . . Everything seemed fine."
The following morning, Alissa asked for the gun, saying he intended to return it to the store where he purchased it and get his money back. He instead drove to the King Soopers, 15 miles from the family home in Arvada, Colo., walked into the store and opened fire, according to police.
Alissa's large Syrian American family has spent the days since grieving for the victims, trying and failing to understand what might have motivated their son and brother, and drowning in shame and anger over his alleged actions.
"His mother is looking at the photographs of the victims and can't stop crying," the relative said. "We were thinking about reaching out to their family members to tell them we are deeply sorry for their loss. None of us saw this coming. If we ever had the feeling that he could do something like that, we would have stopped him."
Alissa's parents and siblings declined to comment.
On Thursday, during a brief court appearance, Alissa's lawyer said he had an unspecified mental illness that should be examined. "We cannot do anything until we are able to fully assess Mr. Alissa's mental illness," said Kathryn Herold, a public defender assigned to the case. Family members also said the lawyers who visited Alissa told them that he said he was hearing voices in his head, according to the relative. Alissa's lawyers did not respond to requests for comment.
There had been signs over the past several years that Alissa was troubled and sometimes behaving in concerning ways, but it was never so pronounced the family felt the need to get him counseling or medical help, the relative said.
"He didn't take any medication. He never drank or took drugs," the relative said, but noted that Alissa had become increasingly withdrawn over the past year and had in the past spoken in paranoid terms about being surveilled by unknown people. "It was like his body was there but he was not really mentally there. He would go to work and come home, maybe smoke [hookah] now and then, but otherwise not do much."
The relative said that while Alissa worked in one of the family's four restaurants in the Denver area — the Sultan Grill in Arvada — he declined the offer to run one himself.
Two months ago, when the family had an offer to take over a potential restaurant site, with one year free of rent if they signed a five-year contract, they hoped Alissa would manage the location. "We told him, 'This is a great opportunity for you,' " the relative said. "We were all very excited about the opportunity."
Alissa's response surprised his family. "I am still too young," he said, according to the relative.
Alissa had moved to the United States from Raqqa, Syria, when he was 3 years old. Most of his extended family has now left Syria, according to relatives there and in the United States. When the civil war broke out and the Islamic State established Raqqa as its capital, the family lost all their houses and businesses, the family members said.
"Everyone from our family left Syria and ended up as refugees in Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Sweden, Germany, and we knew our future is for sure going to be in America," the relative said. "We all concentrated on work; there were no discussions about politics or things like that. Most of the time, we talked about the businesses."
An analysis of Alissa's Facebook account by the SITE Intelligence Group, which monitors online extremism, found no evidence of "any radical or extremist views." Members of the family have had brushes with the law over the years, but nothing involving political extremism.
Alissa's family over the past two decades has slowly built a successful restaurant business, owning several locations specializing in Middle Eastern food, and had moved from a rental apartment to a large split-level home with a three-car garage in a prosperous neighborhood in Arvada.
The first concerns over Alissa's behavior came during his senior year at Arvada West High School. He was on the wrestling team and threatened to kill some of his teammates after losing a match. He stormed off the mat and never returned to the team, according to interviews with classmates.
Around the same time, on Nov. 27, 2017, Alissa, then a senior, was charged with assaulting another student in a math class. Witnesses, including the teacher, said Alissa's attack on the student was an unprovoked and vicious pummeling, according to an Arvada police affidavit.
The victim, who had injuries to his face, told police he was once a friend of Alissa but hadn't spoken to him for a while and was surprised by the assault.
Alissa said he was reacting to racial slurs, including being called a terrorist and told to go back to where he came from because he was Muslim. Alissa was proudly American, his relative said, and found it painful to have his identity challenged.
Alissa pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and was sentenced to probation and community service. He told police he had blacked out during the attack, according to the affidavit.
After the incident, the family sat with Alissa and urged him to put it behind him. "We all sat together as a family and talked to him: 'Ahmad, don't let this get to you. You are not what they are saying to you.' "
The incident, however, seemed to sap some of his ambition; he had talked about a career in medicine, but that goal faded.
Other changes in personality followed, but the family doesn't know whether the alleged racial abuse was a catalyst, according to the relative.
"He would sometimes say, there are people following me, there are people listening to my conversations, people are watching me, people want to arrest me," the relative said.
On March 18, 2019, Alissa posted on Facebook: "Just curious what are the laws about phone privacy because I believe my old school (a west) was hacking my phone. Anyone know if I can do anything through the law?"
In response to a comment, he said that he believed someone was spreading false rumors about him and that the hacking was "part racism."
Alissa began to tape over the lens on his computer, the relative said, and broke the keyless remote to his car because he thought he was being monitored through it. He posted on Facebook that the FBI was watching him.
Once, while working at the restaurant, he told his sister that a man in the parking lot had been following him, the relative said. When Alissa's sister went out to check, there was no one there.
But the family, who have been interviewed several times by police in recent days and have moved out of their Arvada home, said they never feared he was dangerous.
"We are wondering, was there someone maybe who chatted with him and pushed him to do this?" Alissa's relative said. "Was there someone who talked to him over the phone and told him to do this? We are asking ourselves, who trained him to shoot this way?
"The answer is, we don't know."
The family watched the streamed court hearing. "Everyone was crying," the relative said. "It looked to us like Ahmad didn't really understand what was going on, the way he looked around, left and right. It was as if he didn't understand what he had done. It was very hard to watch for all of us. We were hoping maybe to get some answers for why this all happened. But we didn't, and we are now waiting to see what the result will be about his mental health."
When Alissa was arrested, he asked to speak to his mother, according to police. "She has not spoken to him yet," the relative said. "We won't speak to him; even if there would be an opportunity for us to speak to him, I don't think we will speak to him. We can't."
Tate reported from Washington. Alice Crites contributed to this report.