From the hilarious (and satirical) newspaper The Onion, a story with this headline: Johnson & Johnson Introduces ‘Nothing But Tears’ Shampoo to Toughen up Newborns.

This tweet from the satirical newspaper says it all:

 

And from the story itself:

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—After decades of coddling young children, Johnson & Johnson unveiled its new “Nothing But Tears” shampoo this week, an aggressive bath-time product the company says will help to prepare meek and fragile newborns for the real world….