The Washington PostDemocracy Dies in Darkness

10 things you can do with your Borders gift cards

Earlier this week, a federal judge in Manhattan ruled that holders of Borders gift cards — some $210 million worth — are out of luck. The bookseller closed its last store in late 2011, and now its outstanding gift cards are finally, officially worthless.

But not so fast!

10 things you can still do with your Borders gift cards:

1. Handy bookmarks in what we used to call “books.”
2. Cut them into Ninja stars for annoying but non-lethal combat fun. (Take that, Jeff Bezos!)
3. Just right for canapes at next month’s e-book club.
4. Scratch the edge noisily across your jawline to show how macho you are (very Christian Grey)
5. Recycle them into colorful Kindle covers.
6. Perfect-sized coasters for shot glasses. (Handy if you were a bookseller.)
7. Make retro business cards out of them to impress the manager at Starbucks.
8. Carefully arrange them into a house of cards. (A nice metaphor of the publishing industry).
9. Save them to prove your faith in the ultimate resurrection of major bookstore chains.
10. The perfect gift for people you don’t like.