Here we are again, all talking about “Saturday Night Live” like it’s 1999. The New York Times posted a story Thursday on how terrifying it is to audition for Lorne Michaels, which is totally worth reading just to watch Jimmy Fallon’s tape. He’s so nervous! I want to crawl through the screen, give him a hug, and tell him it’ll be okay. “Someday you’ll be jamming with Questlove, young grasshopper.”

See, Jimmy? It all worked out! (AP Photo/NBC, Lloyd Bishop)

And Thursday night, Deadline reported that four new cast members will be joining the “SNL” ranks: John Milhiser, Kyle Mooney, Beck Bennett and Noël Wells. This has yet to be confirmed by NBC. (We’ll update this post if/when we have more information.) But let’s wildly speculate! I love some good rumor-news. Rumor-news is, literally, my second-favorite kind of news. (First-favorite kind is breaking news, third is Bikini Bottom, fourth is second hand.) If Wells joined “SNL,” it would be awesome. 

Let’s start with “The Zooey Deschanel Show,” Wells’s riff on the poster girl for manics, pixies and dreamers.  (Wonder what Wells’s presence would mean for “SNL”‘s “Bein’ Quirky” bit? Could there be a new, “New Girl” in town?)

Wells also does an impression of Kristen Stewart/Kristen Stewart’s hair. Just going to go out on a limb here and say that I think Wells is a better Kristen Stewart than Kristen Stewart. Given that Stewart seems to hate being famous, I’m thinking maybe she and Wells should pull a “Model Behavior” and trade places!

Wells also does an impression of Mary-Kate Olsen:

SPEAKING OF MARY-KATE: I already have a favorite Mary-Kate impersonator/fan fictioner, and her name is Elaine Carroll/Very Mary-Kate. But it turns out that everything I love loves each other because Luke Sholl, a.k.a. Bodyguard, is in Wells’ video “Dana Passes the Salt,” her awesome “Homeland” spoof.

To reiterate: no official announcement has been made. Maybe this is all fiction. We’ll let you know as soon as we find out.