Have you ever watched an awards show, with its red carpet packed with flashing lights, glitzy dresses worth thousands of dollars, stars with impossibly perfect hair, and thought, “Blech. Too many humans. Not enough dogs?”
Well, you’re in luck! CW will be airing its first “World Dog Awards” in January 2015 to honor the best dogs in the world. The event, to take place in Santa Monica’s Barker Hangar, will include human stars walking their pooches down a green, rather than red, carpet — although we’re pretty certain the dogs won’t be able to discern the difference in hue.
“Dogs of every size and breed” will be honored “for their achievements in film, television, commercials and animation,” according to a release from the network. Military dogs, service dogs and dogs that have risked their lives for humans will be recognized as well. So expect montages. Lot’s of them. Heart-warming, tear-jerking montages.
And even humans will get a chance to win a golden fire hydrant in the “Best Actor in a Supporting Role to a Dog” category.
That such an award show would hit TV is a predictable outcome in a country where 13.5 million viewers tune in to watch “Puppy Bowl,” Animal Planet’s alternative to the Super Bowl. Those 2014 viewership numbers made the event the most-watched cable show on Super Bowl Sunday.
And CW is broadening its focus beyond television to that other great bastion of dog accomplishment in the field of entertainment, the Internet. Amateur pets who have achieved viral fame are eligible to win at the World Dog Awards too. Thus, may we humbly submit these categories with accompanying nominees, for the academy’s consideration:
BEST SONG, POP
BEST DANCE PERFORMANCE, LATIN
BEST PERFORMANCE, DRAMA