(Courtesy of Henry Holt) (Courtesy of Henry Holt)

If your kids are ignoring your messages, you can take some comfort in Mallory Ortberg’s LOL parody, “Texts from Jane Eyre” (Henry Holt, $23). In these pages, Ortberg offers us cellphone conversations with Plato, Harry Potter, Emily Dickinson and others. Each dialogue is catnip for English majors, and many of them are FOTFL. Imagine receiving a prank text from Ahab, or trying to get Nancy Drew’s attention when she’s on a case.

In the spirit of these witty dialogues, I interviewed Ortberg about her new book — by text, of course: