Some people spend weeks planning elaborate Halloween costumes designed to shock and awe.
Not us. And probably not you. We’ll start rummaging through our closets, oh, about five hours from now, searching for some combination we can at least pretend is a cleverly-thought-through costume. That’s why we always fall back on celebrities — because, hey, they wear clothes, too (usually), just like us, so we’ve got that baseline for starters.
Here are a few cheap costumes that you can wear in a pinch with little to no effort on your end.
Kim Kardashian: Wear your tightest outfit, slick back your hair, slather on contouring makeup and affect a perma-pout. Done! Don’t have a skin-tight white dress? Just throw on, you know, some Under Armour and double-stuff your bra. Adopt a nasally tone, hold your arm at selfies’-length reach, take photos with the most popular people at the party and post the most flattering ones ASAP.
Miley Cyrus: Can you find a blonde pixie wig? No? Well, just bobby-pin your hair. I mean, whatever. Or rock your longer locks and tell everyone you’re still in your early Liam Hemsworth era. From there, you just need heavy eyeliner, glitter eyeshadow and an ultra-crop top that covers your breasts — but just barely — and you’re good to go. If you happen to have some unicorn-ish or rainbow-y gewgaws to put in your hair, that’ll help with the illusion. Don’t forget to stick your tongue out all night.
Ariana Grande: The new princess of pop is one of the easiest last-minute costumes. Draw a dimple on your left cheek, pop your hair in a high ponytail (got extensions on hand? Awesome.), wear your shortest dress and highest boots. Bring it on home by batting your eyelashes, hitting high notes and talking to people as though they are beneath you.
Matthew McConaughey: Slather on your most orange-toned bronzer, tousle your locks just so, and drawl like your life depends on it. Alright, alright, alright! The benefit of choosing to emulate this versatile actor is you can choose whichever phase of him occupies your closet. Have a pair of bongos laying around? Okay, well how about, like, an empty coffee can? You’re good. Have a nice suit? Wear that and then talk a lot of nonsense about Lincolns.
Kanye West: Dressing like a self-proclaimed musical messiah should be fairly easy for the fashion forward. Leather pants and an unbuttoned shirt pretty much do the trick. Attitude is key: Scowl and proclaim your unachievable greatness. Ideally, you can find a hot lady in clingy white Under Armour to walk into the party with you.
Renee Zellweger: Don’t worry about hair or clothes that much; the magic of this costume lies in the makeup. Wear eye-widening liner and mascara, and draw your lipstick just barely outside of your natural lip line. People might not be able to tell you’ve done something different at first, but they’ll talk about it the whole party.
Beyoncé: She’s had so many evolutions that whittling down your choices may be difficult. “Single Ladies”-era is the easy and recognizable: black unitard, voluminous half-ponytail, foil wrapped around one arm to imitate a robotic hand. But midnight-album-dropping Beyoncé is the easiest: ripped denim shorty-shorts with a flannel and a perfectly mussed bob. Tell everyone you woke up like this.
Nick Jonas: For the 2014 iteration of the youngest JoBro, you really only need to rock six-pack abs and a dangerously low-slung pair of jeans. Start out wearing a purity ring, but casually misplace it by nights’ end.
Amanda Bynes: We don’t recommend this, but the former Nickelodeon star does present an intriguing, easy costume. It doesn’t particularly matter what you wear — she’s been seen in any number of varied outfits — but you need a colored wig. And then find a 19-year-old clerk to call your boyfriend, and tweet frequently and offensively throughout the party. Again, we don’t recommend.
Pharrell: Two different options on wardrobe — either a blazer/button-up/shorts or oversized T-shirt/jeans — but the key thing is finding that oversized Arby’s hat and rocking it accordingly. Sing “Happy” so that everyone knows who you are, but then keep singing it until everyone is annoyed to truly sell the costume.
Nicki Minaj/Britney Spears: In this Halloween costume two-fer, the only thing that really matters is a plastic snake. Or hey, a real one if that’s more convenient. Depending on your mood, you can either say you’re an “Anaconda”-themed Nicki or a “I’m a Slave 4 U”-era Britney. Just remember not to wear a lot of clothes otherwise.