Who’s ready for “50 Shades of Grey” to hit the big screen? Don’t be coy. You know all about the erotic novel by E.L James. You might have even read it during your Metro commute thanks to the magic of e-readers. In any case, the movie adaptation is headed to theaters on Feb. 13, just in time for Valentine’s Day, and Hollywood Reporter is forecasting a $45 million debut. For some perspective, that’s a little less than “Interstellar” made during its opening weekend ($47.5 million), but more than “Gone Girl” ($37.5 million).
In honor of next week’s opening, here’s a rundown of all the details that have leaked and what we’re still waiting to find out.
What we know:
Jamie Dornan plays kinky businessman and part-time piano-playing helicopter pilot Christian Grey, a Seattle-based entrepreneur and bondage enthusiast. Dakota Johnson plays Anastasia Steele, the clumsy, virginal (but, spoiler: not for long!) co-ed who catches Christian’s eye.
The Sunday Times is reporting that the 100-minute movie contains 20 minutes of sex.
Dornan says he won’t be showing his “todger” in the movie, which is apparently Irish for penis.
A particularly explicit scene from the book involving a tampon will not appear in the movie. Neither will a bizarre-sounding jellyfish sequence that director Sam Taylor-Johnson really loved. (“They’re so sexual, jellyfish,” she said.)
Maybe it’s the lack of todger or maybe the dearth of sexy marine life, but the movie managed to skate through the MPAA’s review process and secure an R rating for “unusual behavior,” which is, frankly, a pretty ambiguous euphemism.
How unusual is the behavior exactly? According to Taylor-Johnson, it’s not graphically explicit. “I know that’s going to be disappointing to some people,” she said during an interview with the Guardian. “It’s the build up and titillation of touch and sensuality. So I don’t think it goes into the realm of porn.”
Scenes that did make the cut: Christian hitting the hardware store where Anastasia works in order to pick up supplies for some kind of project involving rope, cable ties and masking tape.
And the whole meet-cute (meet-kinky?) survived — the awkward interview scene. Here’s Christian name-dropping literary geniuses like he sort of knows what he’s talking about:
What we don’t know:
Who will play Anastasia’s samba-loving “inner goddess”? (Can we nominate Christine Baranski?)
How about her wet blanket kill-joy of a conscience?
When the pair had to reshoot scenes in October, there were rumblings that it was all due to a lack of electricity between the leads. Is the chemistry between Johnson and Dornan as bad as the rumors?
What happens during the other 80 minutes?
This is a movie based on a book that’s almost entirely composed of sex scenes, and there’s no todger? Seriously?
Did Dornan manage to master the art of looking “speculative” and “taciturn”? How is Johnson’s mid-coital delivery of “aargh”?