You know the drill: Whenever a Hollywood star talks about filming sex scenes for a movie or TV show, it’s generally accompanied by an eye roll and claims that it’s so weird and so awkward and there’s usually a giant dude with a camera hovering over you, gross.
Mindy Kaling, however, would like to tell you the truth: Filming sex scenes is actually awesome.
In a print preview of her upcoming book, called “Why Not Me?” and scheduled for release Sept. 29, Kaling features a chapter titled “I Love Sex Scenes!” where she details one of the best-kept secrets in showbiz. She quotes a few celebrities who complain about filming intimate scenes, from Justin Timberlake (“It’s actually kind of annoying”) to Mila Kunis (“The whole thing is just wrong”). But Kaling clears up the truth with some refreshing real talk.
“I am here to tell you they’re all lying,” she writes. “Every last one of ’em.”
Timberlake, a liar? Say it isn’t so! Kaling explains: “Obviously onscreen sex is not actual penetrative sex, but, as any religious high schooler will tell you, simulating sex can be pretty damn enjoyable as well.”
That’s because, she elaborates, you either get to “crawl around in a bed” with someone you know, or use that as a way to bond very quickly, which can also be fun. But what about all those crew members watching you? Isn’t that strange?
“To that I say: the more, the merrier!” Kaling writes. “Most of those people are artists whose job it is to make sure your physical imperfections are cloaked in mysterious shadows. By the end of the shooting day, you’ll wish there were more people there.”
Kaling talks about some of the experiences she’s had on Fox’s “The Mindy Project” and NBC’s “The Office” hooking up with various actors on screen, including a hilarious anecdote about Seth Rogen, her love interest on an episode of the recently canceled (but saved) Fox comedy. About a half-hour after she made out with Rogen, she told him he was a great kisser. His assessment of her skills? “To be honest, I don’t really remember.”
Finally, she explains some of the reasons actors lie about the awesomeness of filming sex scenes. First, just admitting that is super creepy. Then, it’s especially awkward if that person has a significant other: “If you are the unlucky spouse of an actor, the last thing you want to hear is that, in addition to him getting to fake-cheat on you by virtue of the most unfair loophole of all time, he also really enjoyed it.”
Plus, another important point: No one wants to make it seem like they’re being paid to fake having sex on camera. “People already think acting is the world’s easiest and most frivolous job,” Kaling writes. “So we all have this tacit agreement to keep our traps shut about the world’s best job perk.”