“Magic Mike XXL” sure was… a movie.
Honestly, how else to describe a two-hour movie about male strippers (er, sorry, “male entertainers“) that is actually a buddy road trip comedy? The “plot” made little to no sense, something about the guys traveling from Tampa to Myrtle Beach for a stripper convention and running into adventures along the way. But it was highly entertaining — and gave us the gift of a few things that we’ll never look at the same way again. For example:
1) Michael Strahan
Oh my, Michael Strahan. The Fox football analyst/”Live! With Kelly and Michael” co-host has been talking up his cameo in this film. But nothing could have prepared us for seeing a nearly naked Strahan in very small, tight gold shorts performing quite the routine on a massage table. Calling it just a lap dance would be an insult. Think his “NFL Sunday” co-hosts or Kelly Ripa will ever let him live it down?
Finally, a scene that will make minor tabloid celebrity Joe Manganiello known for something other than being in “True Blood” and dating Sofia Vergara. In effort to get his mojo back, Manganiello’s character storms into a gas station convenience store and performs an erotic dance in an effort to make the dour cashier crack a smile. This includes tearing open a bag of Cheetos in a sexy way, and spraying himself with a water bottle. Then he approaches the cashier and seductively asks her a question that might win movie line of the year: “How much for the Cheetos and the water?”
3) “I Want It That Way”
On their road trip, someone sparks a heated conversation about the Backstreet Boys. (Note: We can’t remember if this is before or after they were high on molly.) Anyway, this just fuels Manganiello’s character during his gas station dance when “I Want It That Way” — a BSB classic — comes on the speakers.
4) “Heaven” by Bryan Adams
What is a road trip with male strippers if they can’t seduce a group of middle-aged Southern ladies? Channing Tatum and co. storm into the mansion of a “friend” that Adam Rodriguez’s character made in Florida, and it turns out it’s her mom’s (Andie MacDowell) house. The ladies bring out all the wine and before long, one of the women — the quiet one who wouldn’t dare talk about her love life — confesses that her husband will only have sex with the lights off. This inspires Matt Bomer to cheer her up the only way he knows how: Performing a dance routine while softly crooning “Heaven” into her ear.
5) Probiotic fro-yo
All of the guys in “Magic Mike XXL” have goals and Rodriguez’s character is no exception — he yearns to open a healthy fro-yo van. He thinks his dreams are dashed when they crash the van during the road trip… but in a glorious reunion, the van is repaired and they reunite at the end of the movie. Of course, fro-yo also makes its way into a stripper routine at the big convention in Myrtle Beach, as he uses chocolate syrup and whipped cream in a very creative manner.