Helen Mirren warns against drunk driving in Budweiser's Super Bowl ad. (Budweiser)

The product: Budweiser

The premise: Dame Helen Mirren is sitting in a divey booth eating a burger, drinking a Bud and urging Americans not to drive drunk. (Apparently we only listen to common sense when it’s delivered in a stern-sounding British accent.)

The punchline: She very politely insults all of those idiots who don’t get a designated driver by calling them “shortsighted, utterly useless, oxygen-wasting human form of pollution,” whose brains, if donated to science, would be returned. Besides, she adds, “This is supposed to be fun!” Kind of like how this commercial is supposed to be fun.

The verdict: Of course, Bud was going with an “opposites attract”-style casting here. But note that they don’t actually show Dame Mirren drinking the beer. We’re guessing she wouldn’t deign to even put her lips on such an ordinary bottle. She probably subsists on a diet of caviar, Perrier and vintage Dom Perignon, and the unsaid punchline of the commercial is the mere idea that Helen Mirren would order cheap American beer. (That said, she speaks the truth: Don’t drive drunk tonight, dummies.)

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