The verdict: Ugh, where to begin? First of all, teasers released before the Super Bowl show our little pal urinating off of a cliff — firmly establishing that this is a male marmot, in case you were considering giving the brand the benefit of the doubt. You shouldn't! It couldn't be any clearer that this entire commercial is one long "no homo" joke, with an extra little sprinkle of implied bestiality. Why did you go there, Marmot?