Robby, JoJo and Jordan (Craig Sjodin/ABC)

ABC’s “The Bachelorette” finale airs on Monday night, so get ready for your Twitter feed to be taken over by snarky live-tweets. For those peer-pressured to tune in but who haven’t watched this season, here’s the deal: Joelle “JoJo” Fletcher, a 25-year-old real estate developer from Dallas, will choose between Jordan Rodgers (27-year-old former quarterback) and Robby Hayes (27-year-old former competitive swimmer). And yes, everyone assumes both of those professions are code for “unemployed.”

As always, even before the season ends, there are winners and losers of all kinds. Here’s how this year stacks up:

As the Jordan Rodgers-Aaron Rodgers drama gets messy on ‘The Bachelorette,’ where is the show going with this?


Jordan Rodgers

No, we don’t officially know the winners yet, but let’s be real: Jordan was the front-runner the moment he was the first contestant to step out of the limo. He dazzled JoJo from the beginning and was the first contestant to get a kiss this season, even landing the coveted “first impression” rose on the premiere. So there’s little doubt who JoJo will choose on Monday night, but either way, Jordan will come out a winner: He reportedly has a new gig with the SEC Network.

Luke Pell

In a shocking twist, JoJo eliminated Luke — a fan-favorite all season — last week after he failed to say “I love you” in a timely fashion. But it’s fine: Luke, a 31-year-old war veteran from Texas, is virtually guaranteed to be next season’s “Bachelor,” so we’re counting that as a win.

Chad Johnson

All you need to know about Chad you can learn in this incredible scene where he menacingly eats an entire raw yam and asks not to be compared to Hitler. But really, the 28-year-old real estate agent accomplished probably everything he could have ever hoped for by becoming a classic reality TV villain: His terrifying behavior toward the other contestants made him Internet famous; he landed a spot on “Bachelor in Paradise”; and he hooked up with at least one ex-girlfriend of a fellow contestant from the show, and maybe one more.

This completely absurd Chad scene on ‘The Bachelorette’ perfectly sums up the entire series

Wells Adams 

The 31-year-old Nashville DJ was eliminated in a fairly humiliating fashion: JoJo friend-zoned him pretty quickly after he finally (finally!) worked up the nerve for a first kiss a few weeks ago. But if anything, Wells’s nerves about making out in front of millions of television viewers only endeared  him to the audience, and a brief “Wells as the new Bachelor!” campaign sprouted up shortly after.


Robby Hayes

Again: We don’t know if Robby will lose to Jordan. Either way, his reputation has taken a hit over the season, as he’s been forced to deny multiple times that he broke up with his girlfriend of four years to go on the show. It’s not a great look, and it’s unclear whether JoJo actually believes him.

Aaron Rodgers

Poor Aaron is just trying to go about his life as one of the greatest NFL quarterbacks of all time, and then here comes his little brother, going on reality television and telling the world they have a “complicated” relationship … and also maybe blaming Aaron for being estranged from his family. While Aaron has so far given a quote about Jordan’s conduct being “inappropriate” (re: talking about private issues on TV) the public is going to want a lot more answers about the vague accusations Jordan tossed out.

Evan Bass

The guy’s job description was “erectile dysfunction specialist,” so the show already made him a punchline. Throw in the fact that he got into an embarrassing tiff with Chad over a ripped shirt, and, well … you’ve got this season’s (unintended) comic relief.

Read more:

‘I’ve exhausted all other options’: This is why people try out for ‘The Bachelor’

On ‘The Bachelorette,’ Jordan Rodgers reveals his estranged from his famous brother, Aaron

Why some viewers are furious Jake Pavelka was in ‘The Bachelorette’ premiere