“Sarah Palin is here because Tina Fey won’t return my phone calls,” Baldwin joked at one point. Though at the beginning of the episode, he asked Palin directly: “I’m simply going to start by asking you what everyone is dying to know: What the hell are you doing here?”
Everyone, including Palin, laughed. And no, she didn’t remind him that she and ABC go way back because her daughter, Bristol, was (twice!) a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars.” Instead, Palin went with, “I’ve always enjoyed working with you, Alec. Really, sincerely. And really, I just thought, at this time, I want a challenge. I want to do the antithesis of what I should be doing.”
(Earlier Monday, Palin elaborated her reasoning on her Facebook page: “Nothing is more fun than the infiltration of traditionally liberal Hollywood; gives us a chance to interact with those who may assume they can’t have much in common with a common-sense conservative. I always have a blast doing these pop culture venues!”)
This particular pop culture venue was quite weird and raunchy, as Palin was on a celebrity panel with Baldwin’s “30 Rock” co-star Jack McBrayer; actress and former Scientologist Leah Remini; ABC’s “Fresh Off the Boat” star Randall Park; comedian J.B. Smoove; and Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth. They started drinking beer and wine early; Palin said she just drank water.
To give you an idea of how this episode went, here’s a description of one round, in which a flag football-playing bro named Billy was the Regular Person who went up against the stars. The question, read by Baldwin: “Did you hear Pinocchio has a sister? Every time she tells a lie, her (blank) gets bigger.”
As the game goes, Billy’s challenge was to fill in the blank and hoped his own answer would match the celebrity guesses. Billy’s answer? “Nipple!” he said, looking proud.
McBrayer, Remini and Smoove went with variations on “boobs,” and producers must have decided that was close enough, because Billy got all the points. When it was Palin’s turn? “The most politically correct answer,” she announced, holding her card that read “da bosom.”
Then there was a Alaska-themed question: “Sarah Palin takes her pets to the best groomer in Alaska,” Baldwin read. “Once a week they manicure her moose, clip her caribou and buff her (blank).”
Lots of laughter and jeering from the audience. At first Palin joked that she would refuse to answer (“I’m gonna filibuster”) but eventually played along. All of the answers were wrong: The contestant, Alyssa, guessed “bison,” even though most of the celebrities said “bear.” Not Palin: “Her Alaskan golden nuggets!” she said.
The audience loudly booed. “You can’t boo her. She’s a governor,” Baldwin admonished the crowd.
And while there were questions about Superman using his X-ray vision to peek at Wonder Woman’s (blank) and Dorothy’s walk of shame when she woke up in Oz next to (blank), producers naturally offered a requisite Hillary Clinton question as well.
“Hillary Clinton just opened up a new magic show on the Las Vegas Strip. For her final trick, she makes everyone’s (blank) disappear,” Baldwin read.
The contestant, David, chose “election ballots.” No one matched — Park and Remini guessed “Donald Trump.” And Palin guessed “brains.”
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