Alec Baldwin hosted “Saturday Night Live” this week, but the resident President Trump impersonator was nowhere to be seen during the show’s cold open.

Instead, Melissa McCarthy reprised her unhinged, seething Sean Spicer character, which was last week’s most-talked-about SNL moment — and an impersonation that reportedly unsettled the White House.

Trump had been most troubled by the fact that a woman portrayed his male White House press secretary, a sendup viewed by some as detrimental to Spicer’s longevity in the job, Politico reported. “Trump doesn’t like his people to look weak,” a top Trump donor told the outlet.

Well, not only did McCarthy return as Spicer berating White House reporters, but Kate McKinnon also played recently confirmed Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

“I do wanna say I appreciate the fierce debate around my nomination,” McKinnon-as-Sessions said in a heavy Southern drawl. “Elizabeth Warren came in like a porcupine, but then my friend Mitch McConnell swooped in like an alligator and bit her head off. The whole thing felt like a nature special.”

Then, added the fake Sessions: “So, we all know there are two kinds of crime: regular and black.”

McCarthy-as-Spicer appeared in Saturday’s sketch to confront reporters. The character threw gum, cranked a leaf-blower and plowed into the press corps with the lectern. When asked about referring to a terrorist attack in Atlanta, Spicer responded, “Obviously, I meant Orlanta.” Then he ran down a list of terrorist attacks “you never even write about.”

“The Bowling Green massacre — not the Kellyanne one, the real one. The Horror in Six Flags. The Slaughter at Fraggle Rock. The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down. Okay?! And then there is the light terrorism this week when Nordstrom’s decided to stop selling Ivanka Trump’s line of clothing and accessories.”

He continued: “That’s Nordstrom’s loss, because these are high, high quality products. In fact, I am wearing one of her bangles right now.”

A QVC-like chyron appeared on the screen: “It is beautiful. It is shimmery. It’s elegant. It’s $39.99. It is unbelievable. Unbelievable.”

Then, Spicer pulled his leg up to reveal that he was wearing high heels: “Don’t get me started on her shoes because these babies are a real head-turner.”

McCarthy began the sketch as Spicer by announcing that he was calm and that “I will remain calm as long as you sons of — I’m not going to do that because that’s the old Spicy, and this is the new Spicy.”

“I have been told I am to cut back on the gum-chewing, so I am now limiting myself to one slice a day. So I’m gonna enjoy my one and only, and you can just sit and watch.”

SNL’s Spicer read from the president’s schedule, struggling with the name of a central Asian leader and his wife (“I’m just going to call her Connie”). Then he was asked by the New York Times’ Glenn Thrush (played by Bobby Moynihan) about Trump’s plans given a federal court’s decision regarding his travel ban.

“It’s simple,” Spicer on the show responded. “If the appeals court won’t do what’s right, President Trump will see them in court, specifically, ‘The People’s Court’!”

“That isn’t real,” Thrush said.

“Duh. ‘That isn’t real. I’m Glenn.’ It is real, Glenn. It says that right before each tape, Glenn: ‘The cases are real.’ The rulings are final.” Baldwin surfaced later in the episode as Trump in a “People’s Court” sketch.

McCarthy brought back the prop-work from last week’s episode to explain “extreme vetting,” saying, “Spicy is going to explain so you dumb babies can understand it.”

SNL’s Spicer held up an action figure to represent a TSA agent and a Barbie doll, back from a dream vacation.

“We know she is okay, because she is blonde, and so she gets in. Easy. We understand that.” Spicer then held up a Moana doll. “Uh-oh. We are going to pat her down, and then we are going to read her emails. And if we don’t like the answers — which we won’t — boom, Guantanamo Bay.”

In the week leading up to the episode, social media users responded to reports of Trump’s apparent discomfort with the McCarthy impersonation by suggesting more women to impersonate top Trump officials — specifically Rosie O’Donnell to play White House chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon.

O’Donnell even changed her Twitter profile photo to show her face Photoshopped onto Bannon’s and said she would answer the call if SNL asked. Apparently, the show didn’t. But Leslie Jones did play herself in a prerecorded sketch that aired Saturday about how she wanted to replace Baldwin as the show’s Trump impersonator.

After opening this week’s SNL, McCarthy posted on Instagram a photo of her kissing her husband, Ben Falcone. She was still in her Spicer costume, captioning the photo, “That’s a Spicey kiss!”

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That's a Spicey kiss! @benjyfalcone

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