Bill Cosby, Nov. 18, 2013. (Photo by Victoria Will/Invision/AP)

In the late 1980s, at the height of his kingdom, Bill Cosby wrote three funny and in hindsight rather unnerving books on love, marriage, family and aging. I wrote yesterday about about how creepy it is to read them now, in light of the avalanche of sexual assault allegations against him. Below I’ve culled the most disturbing and cringe-inducing passages from “Fatherhood” (1986), “Time Flies” (1987) and “Love and Marriage” (1989), all published by Doubleday.

On Cosby’s boyhood attitude toward women:

“If a girl wandered on to a football field where I was playing, I might make knocking her down part of my fly pattern, for a girl was only an honorary human being; and if my roller skating assumed a certain grand sweep, a girl or two might hit the cement, not an unfitting position for such a lesser part of humanity. In my relations with girls at the age of eight, I never broke hearts, I merely tore skin. Girls simply had to understand that boys did not sit quietly on the floor feeding dolls; boys practiced the violence that was so essential to their becoming men.”

— “Love and Marriage”

On choosing, as a teenager, between a girl he liked and one that would press against him when they danced:

I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life at parties with Millie. My problem was, however, that I was intellectually drawn to Ruth as a candidate for being my wife. Would she understand if I brought along Millie too? I had stumbled upon one of life’s ancient dilemmas: Did I want a home and a family or fifty years of good pressing?

— “Love and Marriage”

On how he would “lure” girls out of high school parties:

It was in those basements that I tried to squeeze girls as if they were melons to see which ones might be ripe for going steady with me. Sometimes I managed to lure one of them outside to sit with me in a car for a little kissing and rubbing; most of the other girls I managed to lure away from the crowd just sat there like statues, hoping that this moment would pass and they could get on with their lives.

— “Love and Marriage”

On his efforts to understand women:

Eventually I learned, not just about the silly mechanics of sex but also about the sweet madness of love, about the one virus that will never have a vaccine. And I learned about women, but not too much. In this book, I will share with you my lifelong study of women and love. I cannot, however, claim to have gotten an A myself in this course. In fact, I’m still taking it pass-fail.

— “Love and Marriage”

On his dismay at finding his first gray pubic hair at 50:

But then one morning, the march of time suddenly trampled me: I found a gray hair in my pubic zone, where I had always liked to wear my hair black, and I felt depressed, for gray did not seem to add any distinction to my crotch. It was a thoroughly undistinguished sign of age. I had come full circle: from the time that I yearned to see my first pubic hair to the time that I saw the first pubic hair I didn’t want. … As more of this lower gray appears, I have been wondering: would I be too vain if I started using Grecian Formula in a place that only my wife and doctor ever see?

— “Time Flies”

On children as the price of sex:

My hold on my own sanity has always been a tenuous one because of the behavior of what was created by a few delightful seconds of sex. Believe me, I have paid for those delights.

— “Fatherhood”

On hoping his daughters don’t date someone like him:

The happiness of these four daughters has been of supreme importance to me, but the problem is that this happiness may depend on their avoiding the kind of person their father was in his drugstore days, a mad hunter of j-o-n-e-s. Every time a young man comes to my house for one of my daughters, I have wanted to take them aside and say:

You’re not like me, are you? If you are, then I know what you want and I hope you have the same terrible luck. …I hope you’re on a mission impossible. And one more thing: I may have to kill you, but it will be nothing personal.

— “Love and Marriage”

A father… knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a depraved little mind himself. In fact, if he thinks enough about the plans that he used to have for young girls, the father not only will support his wife in keeping their daughter home, but he might even run over to the mall and have a few of those boys arrested.

— “Fatherhood”

And on how Cosby really just likes to cuddle:

Just as I no longer can go one-on-one in basketball the way I once did, I also lack the stamina to go one-on-one in bed the way I did in my salad days. In spite of the profound love I have for my wife, sex at my age has become exhausting, which leaves me yearning for a younger body, or longing for a good nap. A man of my age comes home late from the office, has dinner, takes a shower, ignores a few bills, and finally makes it into bed. Discovering another person is in that bed, and dimly aware that this person is a different sex, he starts to make his move.

“Not tonight,” says his wife.

And the man rolls over with a smile.

Thank you very much, he silently says.

His heart had not been in the mood, nor any other part. All he had really wanted was to go on the record.

My wife probably feels that our bed has become a G movie, but I am actually in tune with the times, for recent surveys have revealed that most women would rather cuddle than have sex, and I am the Clark Gable of cuddlers. I don’t need Dr. Ruth because I am tuned to Dr. Seuss.

— “Time Flies”

Read more from Book Party:

In hindsight, Bill Cosby’s old books on love, sex and family are incredibly creepy

When your thoughts become fears and your fears become obsessions

Garry Kasparov on his next book — and why Vladimir Putin is like Tywin Lannister