That leaves the more ridiculous parts for me, such as the part when Blatche explained his infamous Lapdance Tuesday promotion.
“Okay okay, Lapdance Tuesday is not a strip club,” Blatche explained. “It’s a regular club in Miami. It’s called Cameo. But on Tuesday nights they called it Lapdance Tuesdays. It’s not a strip club at all. You could go in there on any Tuesday and you would not see no strippers. It’s a regular club. No strippers. It’s just the theme of the club that day.”
Fair enough. There were similar explanations of his solicitation charge, and his fine for making finger guns gestures, and the aggressive messages to fans from his Twitter accounts. But we might as well just skip ahead to the end, when things got really, really awkward.
“Y’all always hear something, but y’all don’t know the truth,” Blatche told Holden Kushner and Danny Rouhier. “Y’all hear what they want to tell y’all….Apparently I’m just an effed-up player that did a whole bunch of effed-up things in D.C.”
“It’s not that you’re an effed-up player; it just doesn’t seem like you got it,” Kushner answered. “You never got it. You were never in shape. You never did the things that people thought you could do on the court, and your reputation as a knucklehead is because there’s a lot of things that you did off the court. And I know you’re trying to debunk them, but it can’t be that it was always somebody else’s fault.”
And now to a straight transcript.
Blatche: I’m not trying to do nothing but try to tell you the truth. I’m telling you the truth of exactly what happened.
Kushner: There’s no way that trouble finds you this much, that it’s just a coincidence.
Blatche: Okay listen, I’ll tell you this, the whole [prostitute] incident, yes, yes, that was me. That was all me being stupid, being overly childish and playing around. That was me. But as far as [the report that I] didn’t want to go back in the game, wanted to fine me for finger [guns], all that type of stuff, that’s just overdoing it.
Rouhier: Listen man, really appreciate you coming on this morning. In all sincerity, I think it’s awesome that you stood up and you talked to us, and it was great. I just want you to know this: There are a lot of Wizards fans that have a lot of resentment towards you. And that’s never going to change. And the idea that you had these excuses for each one of these incidents, that’s wonderful. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Blatche: That’s not an excuse. That’s not an excuse. That’s not an excuse.
Rouhier: I just know this: This franchise paid you to go away. They paid you to go away.
Blatche: Don’t say it’s an excuse. It’s not an excuse, it’s the truth. It’s not an excuse. It’s the truth.
Rouhier: Wonderful, your version of the truth is awesome. We paid you to go away, the Wizards did. You were an embarrassment while you were here, and you made so many people frustrated and sad, because you’re talented. You have gifts that none of us have, and you squandered those gifts. Not just when you were out of shape, but other times. You never got better. You were supposed to lead this team. They put their faith in you, the fans did, and that’s why we were disappointed. So all this act, all this stuff – oh, you were childish and immature. You were in the league for seven years before you bounced out of here. So whatever I say to you buddy, good riddance, thanks again for coming on this morning, have a nice one.
Kushner: Again, it’s just enough with the Wizards. Like, move on, man, move on.
Blatche: Okay listen, that was my point. I’m trying to move on. But every time I turn around, you’ve got a reporter in D.C. talking about me still. You know, it’s kind of hard to move on.
Rouhier: Andray, here’s how you move on: Keep the Wizards’ name out your mouth. That’s the best way to move on. Don’t mention us again. Best of luck.
That’s a whole lot of anger unleashed on a dude who doesn’t play here anymore, a guy whose flaws were always marked by immaturity rather than malicious intent. But when a basketball franchise wins one playoff series in 30 years and starts a season 0-12, anger’s sort of hard to avoid.