The last time I posted a radio transcript of Tony Kornheiser ripping the Wizards, I got the following comment from a loyal reader.
“So … the post fires Tony and now hires someone to cover what he says on the radio. That doesn’t seem right.”
I have to admit, I ‘d never really thought of it in that way. And the commenter is actually correct; there seems to be something wonky in this exchange.
I tried to think of a witty retort I could use to both diminish the commenter’s argument and squirt some added value atop my next radio transcript, but I’ve got nothing. My mind is empty. All I can think of is a purple land in a pale pink sea where apples fell from a golden tree.
Not only is that complete gibberish, but it’s someone else’s gibberish. And it was written for trippy toddlers. Margaret Wise Brown. “The Color Kittens.” Google it. Instead of quoting ex-sportswriters on the radio, I’m now quoting children’s books. This is Andray Blatche’s fault.
Anyhow, if the lukewarm tea of your current Wizards depression can be most effectively watered down by jabs at Jan Vesely, this transcript is for you. It comes from Tony’s ESPN 980 show on Monday morning. And if someone can figure out how that Kornheiser-Steinberg transaction referenced above makes any sense, please do advise. Or better yet, send me some good kids books to quote.
David Aldridge: The decisions that they make on the court make little sense to me. The decisions they make off the court make little sense to me. And as I said, I don’t know what the plan is here. I don’t know.
Tony Kornheiser: To get better through the draft and draft Jan Vesely, who can’t play in the league.
Aldridge: Well, exactly, okayk? So they’re gonna get better through the draft, and they draft Jan Vesely, who is … wow.
Kornheiser: Can’t play. He’s the number 6 overall pick, he can’t play.
Aldridge: Exactly. Exactly. You can’t build through the draft and totally whiff on the sixth pick in the draft. Tom Gugliotta was an NBA pro for 10 years. [Actually 13.] Now, he wasn’t the best player who ever played, but he was a good player. He was a solid player. You got production.
Kornheiser: He was six. Calbert Cheaney was a five. [Actually a 6.] Not great but played for 10 or 12 years.
Aldridge: Played 10 years. [Actually 13.] He was a productive player in this league for 10 years. At this rate, I don’t see Jan Vesely lasting five years in this league. Unless I am TOTALLY wrong on what he is. But the skillset I see is nothing. So I don’t know where they go from here….I don’t know what the plan is, I don’t know how they get better, I don’t see where this team goes in the next two or three years with this current group. I just don’t see it.
So much existential angst. I swear, there’s the makings of a terrific 19th century Russian short story in all of this. I see Jordan Crawford as a fiery nihilist who wants to destroy everything, Randy Wittman as small-time landowner unsure whether to leave his front door each morning, and Jan Vesely as a well-meaning warrior-prince who accidentally ignites a short-lived civil war in which nothing happens and everyone just drinks a lot of tea.
Also, Vesely’s stats this season, if you haven’t heard: 29 points, 29 rebounds, 34 fouls, 9 turnovers, 9 assists, 13-for-30 from the field, and 3-for-13 from the free-throw line.