By Nick Wass/TWP.

The never-ending arms race to say the most confident and enthusiastic thing about Robert Griffin III’s knee rehab has a new clubhouse leader, blaring sunshine and kitten photos and sweet tea essence in every direction.

His name is Joe Theismann.

“I have full confidence in knowing  that Robert is gonna be able to take care of himself and get ready to go,” Theismann told ESPN 980’s Sports Fix on Tuesday. “And he WILL be ready for the opener. I know everybody’s procrastinating on when he might be back; I guarantee it.”

Dang, sir. A retired quarterback making promises about the career of a current quarterback? That’d be like Tony Kornheiser guaranteeing Mike Wise will slay his Tuesday night Caps column.

“Why do you feel so confident about it?” Kevin Sheehan asked.

“I’ve been around Robert most of the offseason,” Theismann said. “I’ve seen his development, I’ve watched him work, when it comes to his rehabilitation. He started running a couple weeks ago. I mean, he’s a different man. When you’re hurt, it’s like oh gosh, I have to go through all this stuff. Even though you fight through it, mentally it’s a drain on you.

“Now, just the fact that he’s able to start to run again, it’s like turning that stallion loose in the field,” Theismann said. “You’ve had it corralled, it’s run around a little bit, and yeah it’s fine, but then all of a sudden it gets out into the field, it kicks its heels up, and it’s like wow, this is great. And I think that’s where he is. I think he’s at a point where he’s really getting ready and chomping at the bit, and now, [head trainer] Larry [Hess] and those guys there are gonna have their hands full just to hold him down a little bit.”

Did Theismann say anything else optimistic about RGIII? I mean, did Tolstoy write anything positive about the Russian peasant?

“I think he’s just gonna have a sensational year,” Theismann said. “You know, he was rookie of the year last year, but I believe that he will really start to blossom and grow into a special quarterback. I see him like a Colin Kaepernick. Look at Colin in his second year, what he was able to do. And the thing that gets lost, not only the misunderstanding of what this offense is about, is how good a downfield passer he was in college and he was last  year. I mean, his ability to throw the ball out of the pocket is what separates him from so many other quarterbacks, whether they’re veterans or young guys, it doesn’t matter.”

“The most important thing that Robert has to understand is that his value to this football team is when he’s playing, not when he’s on the sideline, and I believe he does,” Theismann also said. “You can’t take away that asset that I think creates such a big problem for other people, but you can be wiser with it.”

Then Theismann guaranteed RGIII would set 17 wisdom records.