I kind of wish we could just fast-forward to early September, when I could post the video of middle-aged lawyers ripping their dress shirts out of their dress pants and then exchanging meaningful glances with Jayson Werth, Ryan Zimmerman and Davey Johnson as 35,000 normally buttoned-up humans untuck at once.
There will be Untucking! T-shirts, and souvenir Untuck Me shots of rum, and Velcro rip-away belts for the youngsters who want to mimic a real untucking, and team-approved marketing slogans (Untuckitude, likely), and probably a signature song like Loosen Up My Buttons or something, plus possibly a second-inning “Untuck Cam,” which will show slow-motion untucks from the past night’s win.
In the meantime, all we have are the postgame screenshots that show an ever-increasing number of players participating, plus this recent Kilgore passage:
After his save Saturday, shortstop Ian Desmond and Werth joined Soriano in ripping their jerseys out of their pants. He had implored Desmond to join him from the start of the season.
“I’d been telling him, ‘You got to do it,’ ” Soriano said. “The first two or three games, he didn’t do it. I say, ‘Bro, why?’ ”
“At first, he got mad I wasn’t doing it,” Desmond said. “I said, ‘Hey, I got to think about it. You’re throwing a couple too many balls. Let me make sure that you’re the real thing.’ I wanted to do it. I’m not going to leave him on the island out there by himself.”
Soriano, 33, hopes other teammates join him in his small celebration. When he pitched for the Tampa Bay Rays in 2010 and saved 45 games for a playoff team, Soriano enjoyed how so many Rays — Evan Longoria, Carlos Pena, B.J. Upton — untucked with him.
“With the Yankees, nobody do it,” Soriano said. “With the Yankees” — he rolled his eyes — “people get mad.”
Not here, sir.