After the Caps’ 2-8-1 start in February, sports satire site Sports Pickle had some fun with a fake news article with this fake quote from fake Alex Ovechkin (dug up by Dan Diamond):

“We’ve dug ourselves a big hole, no doubt about that,” said team captain Alexander Ovechkin, after a 5-2 loss to the Penguins. “But we have the talent in this locker room to come roaring back and to enter the playoffs as the hottest team in hockey and really get everyone excited, only to then get eliminated in the first or second round. I guarantee it.”

Pretty funny at the time. Much less funny today.

That Sports Pickle story isn’t really a jinx, though. Just a bit of schadenfreude. This, however, is a jinx:

Z-Burger’s track record with these promotions is damning. Similar offers announced for the Nats and Redskins playoff appearances also had disastrous results. Three promotions, three playoff knockouts. Stop it, Z-Burger.

If you’re still bummed, here’s fake Adam Oates to make you feel better:

“There’s no reason to panic. Stanley Cups aren’t won at the beginning of the season,” he said. “They’re won at the end of the season — particularly in the playoffs. That’s unfortunate for us. If Stanley Cups were won in the middle of the regular season, this organization would have a lot of Stanley Cups.”