This story is many years old, but it’s new to me. And the main characters — Adam LaRoche of the Nats and Tim Hudson of the Braves — remain key contributors on the two best teams in the National League East, so I think it might be of interest to local readers.
Plus it involves human feces.
Anyhow, LaRoche was on MLB Network’s Intentional Talk on Friday. One of the show’s host’s, Kevin Millar, prepped for the interview by getting amazing nuggets from LaRoche’s brother. Which led to a loaded question about the best prank the first baseman ever executed.
“How’d you hear about this one, man?” LaRoche asked with wonder. “Yeah, that’s one of my all-time best pranks. I like to kind of be the silent assassin — sneak in, get something done and other people get blamed for it. [So] I just got traded [from Atlanta to Pittsburgh]. I was in Miami. The Braves happened to have an off day in Miami while we were finishing up our series, so all their gear came in and was in our auxiliary clubhouse, all the Braves’ bags. And I chose to skip BP that day and go to the back room and dig through everybody’s bags.
“And it just came to my head to pull out everybody’s underwear and sliding shorts, take a pair of scissors and cut the crotch out of everybody’s gear. I say everybody; I didn’t have the heart to get Bobby [Cox]. I couldn’t do that. But I got a lot of the coaches and just about all of the players, and then I wrote on the big board — Kevin, you might remember this. I’ll keep it clean, but I wrote on the dry erase board, I said, Hey boys, good luck and play balls out — LaRoche.
“So they all come in, and they’re getting dressed, and [Chipper Jones] happened to be one of the first ones in. And he goes to pull his sliding shorts up and he realized. And all the clubbies were in on it, all the Marlins clubbies. I said ‘Listen, hang everything up like nothing happened, I want these guys to come in and not see it until they get dressed.’ You got to talk to Chip. He said he sat in his locker for an hour and a half and just watched people come in, and obviously cuss me a little bit when they found out what I did. It was great.
“They paid me back when I came back to Atlanta,” he continued. “They got me really good. But they got one guy, and I got about 25 of em, so I got the better end of that.”
How did they get him back? Well, funny you should wonder. Because co-host Chris Rose asked LaRoche if he could explain what happened next.
“Um, I can try to,” the first baseman said. “Most of it. I came in, it was getaway day, so they did the standard cut my suit up. Took my dress shirt, froze it. Cut all my equipment up, batting gloves, bats were broken. And then probably the grossest thing I’ve ever seen, Tim Hudson takes my backup first base glove and stuffs human feces up in the fingers of my glove. So needless to say I had to throw that glove away. Never got to use it again. Pretty disgusting.”
Yeah. That’s kind of disgusting. How would you…you know, whatever. I’ll let it go.
LaRoche was on DC101’s Elliot in the Morning on Wednesday, and host Elliot Segal asked if this actually happened. LaRoche swore it was 100 percent true. He also said he never attempted to go back at Hudson, figuring this was an appropriate place to end the prank war.