Multiple people told me that Robert Griffin III had requested a measure of privacy during his wedding, so I’m assuming you will never see video of the happy couple walking down the aisle. (Though you can read some details here.)

Luckily, four enterprising staffers from WUSA-9 managed to recreate the wedding’s key moments. Well, they actually did this in advance. So I guess they pro-created it? Nah, that’s not right. Pre-created? Feverish night-time delirious dreamed it? Something, anyhow.

Here it is. I can almost guarantee it will make you feel funny inside.

And for those who keep asking why this wedding stuff is appearing here instead of in Style or Comics or whatever, here’s a word of advice: Don’t click on any sports headlines that include the words “wedding” or “marriage.” It will help all of our stress levels.