Toni L. Sandys/The Washington Post Toni L. Sandys/The Washington Post

Last week, the Caps stuck a microphone on Tom Wilson during development camp, and the results were pretty amusing. But the fun didn’t end there. They also outfitted defenseman Nate Schmidt with a GoPro helmet camera, and it turns out that the audio is gold.

The video is below, but here are some of the best Nateisms.

“Do you know that if you find a turtle on a fence post, you know someone put it there?”

“I’m like, trying to grab a bowling ball with buttery fingers right now.”

“I’m like taking a baloney sandwich to a banquet.”

“A hundred pounds of dough makes a big biscuit, boys.”

I have no idea what any of that means. I think we need a Nate Schmidt reference guide.
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