Like many sports programming events, Redskins preseason television broadcasts feature tweets from fans.
This is valuable, insofar as it provides distraction between your screams up to the heavens, those screams asking why you are watching Rusty Smith ply his trade when you have so many other important life tasks to accomplish, such as attempting to fill as many McDonald’s Monopoly game boards as possible with the two-of-every-color game pieces you receive, even though you never ever receive the elusive winning third piece. Oh Virginia Avenue, how I lust for thee. Or thou, maybe.
Anyhow, here were some of my favorites from Thursday night:
This one is good, because really, we all need to take a break from saving whales in captivity once in a while to watch some tackle football.
This one is good, because Kai Forbath — who has attempted 18 field goals in his NFL career — is now being dubbed the best kicker that league has ever produced.
This one is good, because the Twitter account mentioned — @KirkCousins12 — has this bio: “I should be starting Quarterback for the Redskins but RGIII bribes the coaches.” Four of his previous 11 tweets are about the Pittsburgh Penguins’ goaltending situation.
This one is good, because it evidently was written in praise of Rex Grossman. The former Redskins starter completed 10 of 21 passes on Thursday; the team’s other two quarterbacks were 11-for-15.
And this one isn’t really a tweet, but I do love it so. It’s a misspelling of a misspelling.