When I first wrote about John Wall’s offseason tattoos, I included a warning that more ink was in the offing.
“I think he’s gonna finish his back and probably get the rest of his chest done,” his tattoo artist, Randy Harris, told me then. “He’s going to get more before the season. Trust me. You’ll see me up in Washington.”
Eventually, of course, we saw images of Wall’s “Great Wall” back tattoo. And also, a certain famous columnist was put off by the body art, not really because of the art, per se, but because of what it represented in some grander sense of growth and expectations and public statements and other things like that.
Now, I love that certain famous columnist dearly. But in case he’s looking for a hot take on Wall’s newest body art, I do have a few suggestions:
* “No time for sleep?” That seems like a poor pledge for an athlete, who would be better served treating his body as a temple, a temple that needs at least eight hours of sleep a night, plus mid-afternoon naps. Also, not sleeping is a poor example for today’s youth.
* The owl may be a symbol for wisdom and nocturnal efficiency in some lands, but “in Slavonic cultures, owls were believed to announce deaths and disasters,” according to this article on The Owl Pages. Another story here says “in Czech folklore the owl, sýcek, is a bird of ill-omen.” Without fact-checking that or knowing anything about owls or Slavonic cultures or Czech folklore, I would suggest that with one teammate from the Czech Republic (Jan Vesely) and another possibly on the way (Tomas Satoransky), this is not the tattoo of a team leader.
* Yes, John Wall was born in 1990, but the sport of basketball sure wasn’t. That “Est. 1990” thing above a lantern containing a basketball seems to imply that Wall does not respect the past, the history of the game and the men who came before him.
* And why is his underwear showing? Get a belt.
(IMPORTANT NOTE: I HONESTLY LIKE JASON REID AND AM JUST JOKING AND ALSO I LIKE JOHN WALL AND AM JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT TOO EVERYTHING HERE IS JUST A JOKE BECAUSE I’M BORED OF WRITING ABOUT RGIII.)
(Via @recordsANDradio. Blame him.)