Usually I try to come up with my own headlines, even when I’m essentially ripping off someone else’s content.

But let’s be honest: no human will construct a better headline for this story than the one WJLA already used: ‘Robert Griffin III rehabs in local man’s pool.’ That’s perfection.

It’s also odd. As mentioned on Tuesday, the newly refurbished Redskins Park includes, among other things, an underwater treadmill. The old Redskins Park did not apparently have the most modern equipment. Which is why the Redskins reached out to a local citizen to ask if ol’ Rob could work out in his house a couple times a week for three months.

“I got an email from Colin at HydroWorx, and it says Robert Griffin III – please call me,” Lee Kestler told Gregg Mace from ABC 27 in Harrisburg. “And I showed it to my friends at the table, and I said ‘Look at this spam e-mail that I just got about Robert Griffin.’ I said, ‘I can’t believe I’m getting this, I’ll deal with it when I get back.’ ”

Spoiler: It wasn’t spam!

(Screengrab via WJLA)

“Robert had started doing some training at  Dr. Andrews,” Kestler went on. “They were going to put some pools in at Redskins Park. They’re trying to train in pools, now, that are public pools – Landsdowne Resort is an example – but he’s continually getting mobbed by people. And he loves the fans, but they also need to be able to focus. And because you have a pool and you’re the closest one to Redskins Park, and we’d like to keep Robert local, would you be interested in allowing Larry Hess and Robert to come to the house and train in the pool? And I said, ‘Well, I’ll think about it.'”

Eventually, of course, he agreed. He gave RGIII and Hess the password to his garage so they could come and go at will. He kept the news from his kids for the first three weeks.

(Griffin actually mentioned this whole thing over the summer in Vegas, while he was promoting HydroWorx stuff. “I used it at a guy’s house in Leesburg, Va., that these guys helped hook me up with to be able to have that access to it. Now, the Redskins are getting one,” Griffin said. “I’m also getting a HydroWorx pool in my house….I know what it can do for you, and it’s helped me [accelerate] my rehab process.”)

Anyhow, Griffin went to Kestler’s house a couple times a week for three months. Mace called him “a secret house guest — a pool pal.”

“I certainly appreciate what Robert means to our town here in Washington,” Kestler told Mace. “And listen, we haven’t had a winner for a long time, so Robert, we’re counting on you….In the end, this was a guy that needed to do some fitness work, and needed the privacy and a special tool that I have, and I was willing to let him use it.”

Not RGIII. (Screengrab via WJLA)