I will get many comments and e-mails and tweets after publishing this item, indicating that nobody cares about media-on-media violence; that this is so inside baseball that you actually emerge on the other side of the baseball; that the navel-gazing is intense enough to see each fiber of navel lint.

(John McDonnell/The Washington Post) (John McDonnell/The Washington Post)

I don’t care! It’s too much fun! Any good sports town should feature regular newspaper-on-newspaper broadsides, ably transcribed by ne’er do wells intent only in perpetuating mild feuds!

So, earlier this week, John Feinstein wrote a column on the Strasburg Shutdown, blaming this year’s failures on last year’s controversy. Adam Kilgore responded. ESPN 980’s Kevin Sheehan began summarizing the intricacies of the Feinstein column, which led to this speech from his partner, Washington Times columnist Thom Loverro.

“You forgot the man on the grassy knoll with the umbrella and the black helicopters,” Loverro said. “You know what, it’s so absurd to even consider it. I mean, it’s remarkable that an editor would put it in the paper.

“But here’s what’s even better. The Washington Post – and I like all the guys at The Post – but they slurp each other on Twitter all the time. I mean, they say AW THIS IS A GREAT STORY! YOU GOT TO READ THIS GUY! AW, IT’S THE BEST THING YOU’LL EVER READ! You know, it’s like incest. Really. It’s unbelievable. And I like all these guys, but they do it too much for my taste.

“So what happened here is amazing. Adam Kilgore, who I think does a great job covering the team, wrote a counterpoint blog to Feinstein’s column, and it’s unbelievable. [Then he read portions of Kilgore’s piece.]

“I mean, [Feinstein made] such a pathetic attempt to try to justify [his] position and [his] hatred from the move. The depths of hatred of the Strasburg shutdown by its opponents are stunning. I think [the Nats] did the right thing; I can never be proven right. So to actually go this far and connect the shutdown to this year’s failure to make the playoffs shows an agenda that goes well beyond logic. He didn’t like the shutdown, and he’s determined, to his last breath, to make sure it sticks. And Kilgore slaps him around in this blog. And I highly recommend reading both.”

The point of the slurping and incest lines was to set up Loverro’s praise for Kilgore straying from the WaPo slurping incest pack to claw out the eyes of one of his own. But I just like the incest stuff.

I would make a similar comment about the Washington Times, but I don’t think they have enough sports staffers anymore to be incestuous ooooooh sick burn no that’s mean I take it back.

Note: I did not call Feinstein to offer him a chance to respond. I’d prefer he just attack me and Loverro on the radio, so I have something to transcribe tomorrow.

Note: Me being a goof does not mean The Washington Post is any less committed to outstanding, thoughtful, well-researched and important journalism.

(Via @HTTR24_7)