(Via Monumental Network)
(Via Monumental Network)

Karl Alzner was bored. So he wanted to grow a beard. But the Caps’ coaching staff isn’t into beards. So he grew a mustache.

Because my memory has all the lasting power of a Happy Meal toy, I cannot remember whether I’ve written about any of this before. So I’m just going to assume the answer is no, and present you with Alzner’s full thoughts on his latest facial hair experiment, via John Walton.

“You know what, I was kind of bored of just not having anything going on,” Alzner told Walton on Monumental Network. “I wanted to grow a big beard, but I know that the staff doesn’t really like when guys have the big beards, so I figured I’d try a mustache. If they tell me to shave it, I have to shave it. But the plan is to keep it going until the end of November. And if it grows on me, then who knows, maybe I’ll grow it a little bit longer. A few days ago I was kind of like this is not me, I can’t do this any longer, but then a bunch of guys actually complimented me on it, so maybe I will keep it. I don’t know, make guys think twice, I guess, when they come in my corner.”

Think twice before telling him how great his mustache is, maybe.

(Nick Wass/AP)