I can’t imagine there’s anyone in the world this fall who has thought, “I wonder what Vinny Cerrato thinks of Robert Griffin III’s first four games.” Literally — and I mean that literally — zero people in the world have wondered that. That therefore means the audience for this blog post is either “zero,” or “however many people are so bored by work and/or being furloughed that they will read a few paragraphs on this topic solely to snicker to themselves about Vinny Cerrato.”

Betting on the latter number being greater than zero, I am.

“Doing the postgame [show Sunday night], I told [co-host] Rob Long, I said Rob, I call him Robert Griffin now,” Cerrato said during a recent appearance on CBS Sports Radio’s The Morning Show. “Because he’s not RGIII anymore. He can’t run like RGIII. He’s back to Robert, in my mind. I mean, he’s almost a pocket passer. They got some turnovers [Sunday], and Matt Flynn was awful, and the Oakland offensive line was awful, so the defense actually looked halfway decent [Sunday], but they were still down 14-0. I mean, they’ve got a bye, they’ve got a chance to build on some things. The NFC East stinks, and can the Redskins defense hold up enough? I don’t know. I mean, which defense is worse, them or Philadelphia? And RGIII’s got to pick it up, and Morris hurt his ribs [ Sunday], is he gonna be able to play in two weeks? I would imagine so. But I mean, Oakland, I don’t think Oakland’s a good football team. But any time you go on the road and win, it’s got to be positive.”

So there you have it.

By the way, this publication has a long history of stories about Redskins players and their nicknames. Here’s just one example, by Dave Brady, from October of 1958. It’s a story about Johnny Johnny O Olszewski, who “picked up his Johnny O nickname at the University of California.”

Johnny Olszewski finally is beginning to assert himself. The New York Giants, the Redskins’ opponent in their home opener Sunday at Griffith Stadium, will be the next team to learn that Johnny O is really starting to go.
Although he was a 5-year veteran when he reported to the Redskins for training this season, gentleman John was as humble as the rawest rookie….
Although Olszewski, like Joe Scudero, is a parttime movie actor in the offseason, Olszewski had so little to say that equipment manager Kelly Miller dubbed him Johnny Nuttin’ instead of Johnny O.

Can you imagine how many words I’d have written about a parttime movie actor nicknamed Johnny Nuttin’?