Recently, many of my acquaintances have been debating breakfast cereals, after Deadspin’s Tim Marchman published a controversial, nay, incendiary list of the 43 best breakfast cereals, ranked in order of deliciousness. Not having faith in my own hot (or maybe cold) takes on cereals, I brought the list to Booker after practice Tuesday afternoon. Here’s how that went.
Me: Okay, I’m gonna try to make this quick. Have you ever heard of the Web site Deadspin?
Me: They write about sports, but they kind of do some goofy things, too. They had this guy who put out a list of the 43 best breakfast cereals, so I figured I needed to ask you, as the expert. Can I just read you the top and see what you think?
Me: Number one is Milk and Honey Original Cafe Mix.
Booker: Never heard of that.
Me: Okay. Number two is plain Cheerios.
Booker: They’re trippin’.
Me: Number three is Grape Nuts.
Me: Grape Nuts.
Booker: [Shakes head]
Me: Not a fan of Grape Nuts?
Booker: No. Who are they polling?
Me: Oh, no, themselves. This is their own opinion.
Booker: Ohhhh. Are they, like, old?
Me: No, they’re not old. Uh, number four is Life.
Booker: You haven’t said one good cereal yet.
Me: Okay, number five is Rice Krispies.
Booker: Now we’re getting somewhere.
Me: Number six is plain Chex.
Me: Number seven is Crispix.
Booker: Who? These are international cereals.
Me: Number eight is Frosted Mini Wheats.
Booker: Oh yeah, I can rap with that.
Me: Number nine is Mueslix.
Booker: Mucinex? Never heard of it.
Me: Number 10 is Raisin Bran.
Booker: I like Raisin Bran.
And so on and so forth. He had never heard of Crunchy Corn Bran, and was okay with Corn Flakes, Honey Nut Cheerios and Honey Bunches of Oats. That seemed like enough, so we stopped there.
“Half of them I’ve never heard of though,” he said, when we were done.
“Thank you,” I said. “You don’t mind if I ask you all my cereal questions in the future?”
“Oh, no no no no no,” he said. “I love cereal.”