(Toni L. Sandys/The Washington Post)

By reputation, anyhow, DeAngelo Hall and Richard Sherman are two successful NFL cornerbacks who defend passes and intercept quarterbacks and talk a lot about various life developments and weather patterns and football players. In the olden days, these two men might have waged their verbal battles on football fields, or maybe at some sort of offseason panel discussion or something, or in letter-writing campaigns.

But this is 2014, and if two such men are peacefully wandering through the online universe and then accidentally cross paths, they might start typing loudly in each other’s directions, and then they might get mad at what they’re reading, and they might type more, and a virtual crowd might gather, egging them on, and the rhetoric might escalate, and professional copy-and-pasters might then have to put down their dinners to help spread the good news through the land, by laying out the entire discussion for all to see.

(It’s entirely possible that some of this is out of order, or that some messages have been skipped, or that some entries have been repeated. Not sure that really matters.)

Also, if I were a bored professional athlete, I would privately contact other professional athletes and arrange fake Twitter feuds. Weekly.