The most 2014 storyline of this Redskins offseason thus far happened over the weekend.

Maybe you missed it. If you were camping in southwestern Montana while your phone was hanging out with Icelandic ascetics and you also covered your eyes and ears with Internet-proof mud. Otherwise, you probably didn’t miss it.

Still, I’m going to recap everything that happened, because it was remarkable. It’s all so remarkable that I can’t even fathom how you’d form an opinion about any of this, other than that sports reporting in 2014 is unlike sports reporting has ever been in world history.