Wizards say G-Wiz could defeat The Raptor

(Via @RyanJKelly)

While G-Wiz might not be the world’s most terrifying mascot, he’s still a Washington institution, to be treated with respect and reverence, even if we’re mostly wondering what the heck he is and whether his eyes ever see beyond his nose and whether there’s anything sadder in life than a grown man writing about mascots just to earn a buck.

Luckily, the Wizards appear to be on board with this strategy. The reverence one, I mean. Canadian humour-ous television personality Cabbie recently interviewed several Wizards players in preparation for a potential playoff series. The TSN humour-ist asked players who would win in a battle between the Wizards’ mascot — whom he repeatedly described as a Wizard — and The Raptor. I assume the mascot he was referring to was G-Wiz. Maybe this was just a theoretical Wizard, though. Anyhow, the players had G-Wiz’s back.

“Oh, we would definitely win,” Trevor Booker said. “Easily. Easily. He’s a Wizard.”

“Seeing as how Wizards can cast spells….” Bradley Beal said.

“But you’ve seen ‘Jurassic Park’….” Cabbie interrupted.

“That’s irrelevant, if the Wizard casts a spell,” Beal said. “Think about it.”

“I think the Wizard would get him,” Al Harrington said. “Because he has magical powers, so he could make the Raptor disappear. Forever.”

Which is a scary thought, but really, who is this Wizard with magical powers, casting spells? Is it G-Wiz? Is G-Wiz actually a Wizard? The team describes his hobbies as “performing Magic, being silly, playing with kids of all ages.”

Maybe he’s a Wizard. I’ve just never thought of him as a Wizard.

Dan Steinberg writes about all things D.C. sports at the D.C. Sports Bog.



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Scott Allen · April 9, 2014

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