I hope you’ll all agree to come back and visit this site 20 years from now, when Colin Cowherd is zapping eyeball messages about John Wall’s foulness to receivers on your wrist, whence those pixels will be transmitted onto the D.C. Sports Bog for your consumption.
In the meantime, this happened. Rick Bozich, a longtime columnist from Kentucky, wrote a piece on Wall and Cowherd.
“It’s silly to expect a Colin Cowherd apology, but not nearly as silly as those things Cowherd said about former Kentucky basketball player John Wall nearly four years ago on his ESPN radio show,” Bozich wrote. “Mark it down as Washington’s first playoff victory in nine seasons. Three more wins and everybody will be dancing. Except Colin Cowherd.”
It was a fairly innocuous 240-word item. But Cowherd then turned it into a segment on his Tuesday radio show. He started by making fun of Bozich’s name and employer, and then said this, which covered more than 500 words.
“First of all, you won a playoff game for the first time in four years in the East. Yeah, John Wall has just been transcendent. You won a single playoff game in four years. By the way, because you’ve been so bad with John Wall, you’ve gotten all these top draft picks and you haven’t whiffed on all of them. Congratulations. That’s what happens in the NBA when you’re dog hurl for four years; you get really good draft picks. Shocker. You haven’t whiffed on all of them.
“Ooh, and you made the playoffs in the East. Woo-hoo! Don’t forget the Knicks until the last week were fighting for a playoff spot in the East; they fired their entire staff. So listen, when John Wall came out and did the Dougie, first home game, for 34 seconds, he was a moron. It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. I will never back down.
“Your first day on the job, Mr. Rick Bozich, as a columnist or as a TV reporter, would you do the Dougie into the newsroom? Oh, you wouldn’t, because you’d be looked at like a moron. My first day at ESPN, your first day as a columnist, your first day as a Starbucks barista, you’re gonna do the Dougie? I don’t care if you’ve won titles; do what you want. Ray Lewis became an icon, had a Super Bowl; you dance however you want to dance. Magic Johnson’s got five, six rings; you dance how you want to dance. First day on the job, Derek Jeter’s not doing the Dougie. He’s not.
“By the way, the great John Wall — who was the point guard of the future — not in the top 15 most popular NBA jerseys, not in the top 10 most popular team merchandise, he’s not galvanizing America, this is his first playoff win. He’s a nice player, don’t get me wrong. He still can’t shoot, and I still think the Dougie was the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.
“But like some of those local radio stiffs, who use my rants for three hours to rile up the locals, you’re welcome. I produced my show and your show. So you’re welcome as I helped you produce your ‘column,’ the two a week you write. I’m producing a radio show and I’m producing your content as well. You’re welcome.
“John Wall. Yeah, I have to apologize, I mean, after that win over a Chicago team that’s missing Derrick Rose and Luol Deng, where they finish as a middle-of-the-pack seed and their coach is in the running for coach of the year because nobody can believe it. John Wall’s a nice player. He’s a nice player. He’s developed into a nice player. But you can’t and never will get an apology for that Dougie thing. That was moronic.
“Now for some critics of mine it became a racial issue; I have no idea why and no inclination why you’d want to even go there. Had nothing to do with that. It had to do with immaturity.”
In case everyone’s forgotten, this is something else Cowherd said not long after ripping the Dougie:
“Let me tell you something: I’m a big believer, when it comes to quarterbacks and point guards. Who’s your dad? Who’s your dad? Because I like confrontational players, I don’t like passive aggressive. Strong families equal strong leaders. Talent? Overrated. Leadership? Underrated. And you can say, well, Colin, can you just go out and say anything crazy and get people to e-mail. That’s not the point. You wouldn’t e-mail if I was an idiot, because you wouldn’t listen to the show. You listen to the show because we make good points.
“I simply have a different opinion than you do on John Wall. I like the character of Derek Fisher, the rebounding and distribution ability of Rajon Rondo, that’s what I like. That’s what I want from my point guards. You celebrate the assists more than the buckets…..I know he’s great. So don’t confuse [me saying] John Wall’s no good. No, John Wall’s an A-plus talent. I don’t think he’s ever gonna be an A-plus win-championships point guard.”
And here’s how his original Dougie rant ended:
J Wow’s 37-second Yo dawg look at me I’m the man [dance], and his wild, out-of-control style, everybody else is buying his stock, and it told me all I need to know. He’s gonna end up on the Iverson, Francis, Starbury [side]: great stats, nine all-star teams, never play with good smart players and an elite head coach. He’s gonna drive people nuts. …
You go look, we have a Hall of Fame point guard right now, his name is Rondo. Go look at his numbers. … The best distributor in the league, and all we’ll pay attention to is John Wall. Rondo is your superstar point guard, but we will spend hours on John Wall. I’d take Rondo in a heartbeat. … When I see Wall dropping 29, you know what Wall’s thinking tonight? Man, that dance was good, I might get 39 tonight. Great. Nine (sic) turnovers and 29 points. Welcome to the back of the class, get behind the Celtics, the Lakers and the Heat.”