These are things you can do if you have a lot of money.

Buy a Cal Ripken Nats jersey.

Buy a Zimharpanmus Nats jersey.

Buy an Alex Ovechkin Redskins jersey.

Buy an Alex Ovechkin Nats jersey, in grey.

(Via @allenbkhva)

Buy an Alex Ovechkin Nats jersey, in red.

(Adam Kilgore / The Washington Post)
(Adam Kilgore / The Washington Post)

Buy an Orioles-colored Nats hat.

Burn your money in a fiery pit filled with nail polish and old copies of Sport magazine.

Whatever.