The Washington Post

Teddy speaks softly and carries a big Bryce Harper oven mitt in Presidents Race


After the Sharknado that wreaked havoc on New York last week disrupted the Presidents Race at Nationals Park on consecutive nights, Teddy decided enough was enough. The Rough Rider who once reminded us to speak softly and carry a big stick was armed — handed? — for Saturday’s race with an oversized protective “oven mitt” like the ones Bryce Harper and Ryan Zimmerman wore upon returning from the disabled list. It wasn’t a chainsaw, but it did the trick.

While the Sharknado appeared to have moved on, Shark-Abe-o (insert Racing Presidents jumping the shark joke here) took out George, Tom and Bill along the warning track in center field before honing in on Teddy. One slap with the oven mitt to the jaws knocked out Shark-Abe-o and Teddy, a hero, claimed victory.

Teddy wore the the Rally Mitt again on Sunday. He waited at the finish line, where he knocked out Abe, Bill, Tom and George in succession before claiming his second consecutive win.

Teddy should stick to what’s working, but don’t be surprised to see his friends wielding large rolling pins this week.

(Thanks to Let Teddy Win, which has an excellent GIF of Sunday’s beatdown.)

Scott Allen writes about all things D.C. sports. Follow him on Twitter @ScottSAllen or e-mail him if you’ve got a tip to share.
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