In advance of Saturday’s home football opener, Maryland’s athletic department announced some “exciting new menu items” at Maryland Stadium, centered around the new Maryland Pride stand behind Section 16 and the proposition that no human body is complete without several pounds of concentrated Old Bay flavoring flowing through the intestinal tract. Included among these items is the Baltimore Cheese Steak. (Not pictured, but you can just imagine it.)

“What’s a Baltimore Cheese Steak?” you ask. Let’s quote from the release:

“What’s a Baltimore Cheese steak you ask? It’s thinly sliced griddled rib eye steak, topped with a white cheese sauce blended with Old Bay and a touch of Sherry then layered in fried onions on a hearth baked roll with hot [Giardiniera] peppers from Baltimore’s Little Italy on the side!”

Because that isn’t quite enough Maryland Pride for one stand, the Maryland Pride stand will also sell a half-pound Maryland crab cake, a vegetable-based Maryland crab soup during cooler-weather games, and “a smaller hybrid version” of the monstrous “Chessie,” that gigantic soft pretzel baked with back fin crab dip and melted cheese that was meant to serve four. The new “Little Chessie” will more modestly serve just two fans, or one really hungry one, I suppose.

The stand will also feature Southern Maryland pork barbecue and sweet tea, while the stadium will also have crab nachos in other concession stands. Starting with the Oct. 28 game, the Maryland Dairy will also be offering an ice cream called “Fearless Ideas,” which will celebrate “the history of the state of Maryland and the University of Maryland’s international prestige” with international chocolate, a sweet cheese swirl and a splash of Sagamore Spirit Maryland Rye Whiskey, a company that is coincidentally owned by Kevin Plank.

The school also announced it is relocating the pep band to Section 12 “to improve band cohesion and produce better sound quality throughout the stadium.”

And the school will also give out T-shirts for each class year, with Testudo standing in for “famous Internet memes” like Crying Jordan and Confused Nick Young.

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