I can’t believe the Redskins just won in Seattle.
I can’t believe the Redskins just won in Seattle with a starting offensive line of T.J. Clemmings, Arie Kouandjio, Chase Roullier, Tyler Catalina and Morgan Moses.
I can’t believe the Redskins just won in Seattle without not just 80 percent of their offensive line, but also Jamison Crowder, Jordan Reed, Jonathan Allen, Matt Ioannidis, Mason Foster and so many other players that they had to activate men who were too injured to play.
I can’t believe that team — with that offensive line and that injury list — became just the seventh team to win a game in Seattle since 2012. The Seahawks were 37-6 at home in that span. The losses came against four division opponents, plus a 12-4 Dallas team and a 15-1 Carolina team. I can’t believe the Redskins just joined that list.
I can’t believe the Redskins are the only NFL road team with a winning record in regular-season games at CenturyLink Field since 2002.
And I really, really, really can’t believe that the Redskins are 4-0 at CenturyLink Field in that span.
I can’t believe they just won by three points in a game in which the Seahawks missed three field goals — from 39, 44 and 49 yards.
I can’t believe they won a road game, against a good opponent, in a tough stadium — while averaging 2.2 yards per carry. The Redskins couldn’t run the ball at all. Their 23 carries gained 51 yards. It would have been as productive to exclusively run quarterback sneaks up the middle. This was the first time Washington won a road game while averaging less than 2.3 yards per carry since 1985.
“Offensively we just sputtered,” Coach Jay Gruden said. “We couldn’t really run the ball, couldn’t really protect, didn’t do a lot of things.” I can’t believe that’s the winning coach.
I can’t believe Josh Norman tackled Thomas Rawls, in open field, by his arm, while being stiff-armed, on third and one. Look at that photo on top. Look at this play.
I can’t believe Washington won after the Seahawks scored the go-ahead touchdown with 94 seconds left. The game was over. I was preparing all my jokes about how the Redskins now led the league in road moral victories. It was going to be an even better moral victory than the moral victory in Kansas City. One of the best-ever moral victories. A world-class moral victory. Because Kirk Cousins wasn’t going the length of the field, in 94 seconds, in Seattle, without Reed and Crowder and playing behind an offensive line whose members Gruden struggled even to name after the game.
I can’t believe the Redskins scored on that drive.
I can’t believe they did so in 35 sseconds.
I can’t believe the two biggest plays on that drive were deep passes to Brian Quick and Josh Doctson. Quick entered the game with one catch for 11 yards this season; then he caught a miraculous 31-yard bomb that put Washington in Seattle territory. Doctson’s two most memorable plays this season were drops against Kansas City and Dallas; then he caught a brilliant, stupefying, unforgettable 38-yard bomb to put Washington at the Seattle 1-yard line.
I can’t believe he caught that pass.
I can’t believe Cousins threw it.
And I can’t believe the Seattle defender didn’t bother touching Doctson down, allowing him to slide to the 1-yard line instead of being down at the 6 or 5.
(I also can’t believe the most ardent Kirk haters greeted this victory by arguing that Cousins should have been better earlier in the game, or that the defense saved him, or that Doctson saved him, or that the mysterious vagaries of human fate saved him. Kirk Cousins could be riding on a float down Constitution Avenue, and his most dedicated critics would find issue with his celebratory posture. Doesn’t celebrate like a real winner would. Allowed the float to carry him.)
Also, I can’t believe Doctson caught that pass.
I can’t believe the Redskins averted disaster on Seattle’s final possession. I mean, after all of that drama, Seattle still advanced the ball to the Washington 38-yard line. A quick spike, a quick seven-yard gain, a quick bit of redemption for Seattle’s kicker … and overtime. You had to be imagining that. I sure was. I can’t believe Russell Wilson instead tried to run a play, and got sacked, and that was just about that.
Except for the final Hail Mary, which I can’t believe was broken up by DeAngelo Hall in his first game action of the season.
I can’t believe Jay Gruden has now won two road games with Washington as at least an eight-point underdog: the Colt McCoy Monday nighter in Dallas in 2014, and this three-hour exercise in absurdist wishcasting. In his four-year tenure, the Redskins have only won once as a favorite of at least eight points. To repeat: they have more wins as eight-point road underdogs under Gruden than they do as eight-point favorites. I can’t believe that.
I can’t believe Josh Doctson caught that pass.
I can’t believe Larry Michael was right.
I can’t believe Seattle — playing in its legendarily intimidating home venue — committed 16 penalties for 138 yards. That appears to be the most penalties the Seahawks have ever committed at home. And I can’t believe the battered, withered, ravaged Redskins committed just seven.
I can’t believe the Seahawks became the first team in this NFL season to go over 420 total yards without going over 14 points.
In fact, I can’t believe the Redskins were outgained 437-244, gave up six sacks (including one in the end zone), gave up a fourth-quarter lead, lost the time-of-possession battle, lost the first downs battle, gained exactly two first downs on the ground, gave up 148 rushing yards — and won. On the road. In Seattle.
I can’t believe this silly season — with two losses against Philadelphia in two months, with 80 percent of the offensive line injured, with virtually no production from wide receivers and virtually no running game — is now very much alive, at least on paper, at least for another week, thanks mostly to road wins against the 6-2 Rams and now the 5-3 Seahawks.
Seriously, though. I can’t believe the Redskins just won that game.
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