The Stanley Cup is placed outside the National Portrait Gallery on Monday afternoon. (Jonathan Newton/The Washington Post)

Success comes easy for some franchises. So do titles. The Washington Capitals have, um, not traditionally been one of those franchises.

Like, if there was one franchise in the history of organized team sporting-type activities that might prefer every single one of its potential chicken remains uncounted before it hatches, it might be the Capitals.

And look, I’m not saying that I am not getting and sending emails and scheduling meetings and waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night while planning certain activities that might happen this week or next week if certain other things happen leading to certain other other things, because we can’t very well function as a news-producing entity and not think about the various ways that various events could variously turn out, etc., etc.

But man oh man, I sure would not want to be publicizing the types of activities that we are all emailing and meeting about, that are forcing us to deprive ourselves of most real human interaction and instead walk, zombie-like, through the newsroom in search only of our next meeting and/or the closest Keurig-brand caffeine dispenser, etc., etc.

Which is all by way of saying, whoaaaaaaa baby, Dick’s and Modell’s locations of the greater Washington, D.C. area. Tell your employees in closed-door meetings. Tell your loved ones, maybe. Go ahead and wake up in a cold sweat, in private. (For real, though, I was up from like 4 a.m. to 5 a.m. Wednesday morning, thinking a billion thoughts about the Washington Capitals, heart pounding, mind whirling. I know you have done this, too. The Washington Capitals have taken over two months of our lives. It’s neat and all, but my goodness, two months is a long long time to hand over to a sports team. I remember when I did other things besides think about the Washington Capitals. I think, anyhow. Or maybe this is all I’ve ever done. The season starts soon. Let’s start planning our preseason coverage. Call a meeting.)

Anyhow, Dick’s and Modell’s can do whatever planning they’d like, but this? This is . . . well, it’s bold, anyhow.

(The Modell’s shot is from Bethesda, courtesy Brian Ashin. The Dick’s shot is from Manassas, courtesy @ksrgatorfn.)


A sign at the Bethesda Modell’s. (Brian Ashin)

A sign at the Manassas Dick’s. (@ksrgatorfn)

(@ksrgatorfn)

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