D.C.’s avid bikers know that finding a car or a delivery vehicle illegally parked in a designated bike lane is a not-so-infrequent inconvenience. But porta-potties?

Call the number on the side of the portable restroom, and you’ll get some enlightening information about rentable bathrooms from Don’s Johns. Just a sampling of the wisdom dispensed during the on-hold recording:

  • “Don’t risk getting a graffiti-laden or mud-stained construction restroom delivered for your event.”
  • “Another thing to consider when choosing a restroom is its color. … Our hunter-green [porta-potties] are designed to blend in with the natural landscape. Having a nighttime event? Don’t forget to ask about our interior lighting options.”
  • “Looking for a restroom trailer for a wedding or a VIP event? [We offer] award-winning luxury and presidential models fit for a king, or a princess on her special day.” (That last bit to the tune of an organ pumping out a wedding march.)

Call 311, and you’ll get that porta-potty moved out of your bike lane, eventually. District Department of Transportation spokesman Reggie Sanders said DDOT levied a fine of about $300 for obstructing the public right of way.

The porta-potties — which Don’s Johns operations manager Nelson Rodriguez were scheduled to be dropped off in the vicinity of Vermont Ave. and H Street NW from 8:30 a.m. until 7 p.m. on Tuesday — weren’t moved from the bike lane to the parking lane until about 6:50 p.m.

Rodriguez said he had confirmed that the Don’s Johns driver delivered the porta-potties to the sidewalk, not the bike lane. He said the company would pass the fine along to the renter, who must have moved the porta-potties into the street.