Jerry Jones’s job(s) are safe. (Chuck Burton / AP)

Jerry Jones probably wasn’t terribly worried that his job as owner and chief football decision-maker of the Dallas Cowboys was in serious jeopardy.

But now he can relax completely and go back to inventing things like Jerry Wipes and hawking pizzas and evaluating football talent because the White House has removed from its website a petition from a Cowboys fan demanding that he be booted. 

Steven M., a fan from Georgia, had posted :

“We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long. Request the Executive Branch’s immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM, Jerry Jones. His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress.”

The petition had drawn over 4,000 signatures before the White House buzzkills removed it because of it was in “violation of our Terms of Participation.”

So much for a Cowboys coup.

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