When Mr. Brady makes this face, someone is getting crushed. (Jim Rogash / Getty Images)

The New England Patriots put together a 42-14 surgical evisceration of the Houston Texans on Monday night, with Tom Brady doing a little bit a lot of everything and doing it quite well.

Brady racked up his 14th game with at least four touchdown passes and zero interceptions, which is two more than anyone else. And he was doing what he does — lighting up the Texans like they were his own personal Christmas tree with 21-of-35 passing for 296 yards. Brady even showed off his wheels, running for a first down on a third-and-five and making another statement.

“I don’t run too often so I’ve got to show them I can still do it a little bit,” Brady said with a laugh. “All the people out there, the opposing defenses that say I can’t run, at least they saw. I’m not a big threat, I’m not RGIII or anything, but I can make a first down.”

Tom Brady releases his inner RGIII. (Jim Rogash / Getty Images)

Robert Griffin III already has rushed for more yards (748) in one season than Brady has over his career (399 carries for 737), but Brady further strengthened his case for MVP on Monday night and the Patriots made a statement of their own, too. They improved to 10-3, although the 11-2 Texans are still atop the AFC playoff standings. The win marks the 10th consecutive season in which the Patriots have won 10 or more games. That includes the 2008 season, when Matt Cassel led the team to an 11-5 mark after Brady suffered a season-ending knee injury in the season opener. Which says something about “Bob” Belichick — Donald Trump’s new BFF.

And it really says something about Brady on “MNF.” He has, the Boston Globe points out, played more than a season’s worth of games on Monday nights. In 17 appearances, he has passed for 4,715 yards with 41 touchdowns and 14 interceptions. The Patriots are 13-4 in Brady’s “MNF” starts; they’ve won five straight and 10 of 11. Brady, typically, was playing all that down.

“It was just a good win. I don’t want to make more of it than it really is, it was a very good opponent, we played them at home, on Monday night, had an extra day to prepare, thought we took advantage of it, and we played a pretty good football game,” Brady said. “We’ve played a lot of big games here, but Monday night in December, it’s an important win for us.”

He wasn’t terribly interested in talking about whether his stats (3,833 yards, 29 TDs, four INTs) put him in the MVP conversation, either. He wasn’t about to say who would get his vote, if he had one. Not with a Sunday night game in San Francisco looming.

“That’s a hypothetical. We don’t answer hypotheticals on the Patriots. Coach [Bill] Belichick would stand up here and say, ‘You moron, why would you answer a hypothetical question like that?’” Brady said. “And I sit right there [motioning toward a front-row seat] and he doesn’t have to look very far.”

Brady, 35, seemed to enjoy himself, pumping his first and urging the crowd to make more noise. Same old Brady, right? “He has a few wrinkles,” Dont’e Stallworth joked, “[but] other than that, he’s doing really well.”

Brady, who became a father for the third time when supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen gave birth to a daughter last week, didn’t argue. “He’s probably right. It’s called kids, marriage [and] a few losses over the last five years.”

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Better than Montana?

Tom and Gisele and $$$

Gisele points a finger at wide receivers

Gisele asks for prayers