This is not Kenan Thompson. (Patrick McDermott / Getty Images)

“Nothing’s going to keep Ray Lewis down. Not a ditch. Not a retina. Not the 49ers.”

Ray Lewis didn’t really suffer a detached retina or drive into a New York City “ditch,” but, hey, Kenan Thompson was on a roll during the Weekend Update with Seth Meyers on “Saturday Night Live.”

Thompson: I was driving up Sixth Avenue, and then this police officer said that the road was closed, said because of construction, there’s a ditch up two blocks ahead. I said, ‘Look, no roads are closed to Ray Lewis. Because I believe. Only a higher power could tell Ray Lewis what to do.’

Meyers: And then what happened?

Thompson: Well, I drove two blocks up and crashed into a ditch.

Meyers: Oh, Okay.

Thompson: I cracked two ribs, Seth.

Meyers: Oh no.

Thompson: I got a detached retina. But I got here. I survived. Nothing’s going to keep Ray Lewis down. Not a ditch. Not a retina. [Twitching furiously.] Not the 49ers. We are not gonna lose that game.

Meyers: I gotta tell you: I’m not worried about what will happen if you lose. I’m more worried about what will happen if you win.

Thompson: Seth, if we win the Super Bowl, I’m gonna go to the 50-yard line of the Superdome, kneel down and then I’m gonna ascend into heaven. I’m going through the roof, Seth. It’s gonna be a sight.

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