The San Antonio Spurs Tim Duncan is not answering questions about the new sandwich. (Larry W. Smith/EPA)

As a frequenter of American sporting events, I’m not one to hate on stadium food. “Hot Dogs, Nachos, French Fries and Funnel Cake” is actually one of my favorite eateries. But I guess that “restaurant’s” offerings could get a little tiresome. Perhaps, I should try something a little more unique. How about the “3 Pointer” sandwich that San Antonio’s AT&T Center created for the NBA Finals? Because by “unique,” I mean “grotesque.”

O, the humanity! What is that?! Eater.com writes:

“It comes with three kinds of barbecued meat (pork, brisket, and sausage), three cheeses (“Texas Havarti,” muenster, and queso fresco), plus “Mexican Coca Cola Caramelized Onions” and a choice of thee barbecue sauces including a root beer barbecue sauce. Oh and also three pieces of Texas toast.”

I… but… is it… I’m speechless. That beast is just $12.95, which actually seems like an okay deal. Just make sure to have a bucket handy because I’m not sure that’s going to end well…