No, Carmelo Anthony did not commission a ridiculous painting of himself. This time.

Just a man and a rather grandiose painting of him. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for GREY GOOSE)
Just a man and a rather grandiose painting of him. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Grey Goose)

There is  painting in existence of Carmelo Anthony. It depicts him standing in or near what looks like a lake in a forest, wearing some sort of regal robe and holding a sword. It is ridiculous. However, it seems that, in this case, it’s not Anthony’s fault this artwork exists.

That robe, though. That robe, though.

That would be news to, among others, New York sports radio guy Craig Carton, who went off on Melo Wednesday morning. “Carmelo Anthony has a portrait done of himself, in a flowing fur robe, with an Excalibur sword in Nottingham forest. That’s why guys in the NBA are making too much … money. … He’s chilling in Nottingham forest in a robe and a sword!

Co-host (and former NFL MVP) Boomer Esiason then asked, “He commissioned somebody to do this?” “He’s posing next to it!” Carton exclaimed. “I’m pretty sure he commissioned it, Booms.”

To which Esiason replied, “Somebody could have actually given it to him. Somebody who’s in love with him.”

Turns out, Esiason basically nailed it. The folks at Grey Goose would seem to have commissioned it, as part of an advertising campaign for their line of “Le Melon” (not Le Melo) vodkas.

There’s some kind of pretentious gobbledygook about some type of melon way back when being the chosen delicacy of various kings of France, and now Grey Goose has chosen some celebrities to be named Kings of things.

For instance, Spike Lee was chosen to be King of Culture, while Swizz Beatz was King of Music.

Of course, Melo being named King of Sport does raise the question: Doesn’t the NBA already have a King, one who deserves that title far more than Anthony?

But fine, a company came along and told Melo, Hey, we’ll call you a king, put you in a painting and ply you with a bunch of free booze. Wouldn’t you go along with that? I know I would, so I’m willing to let him off the hook for this one.

However, Melo does (or did in 2012) have a different painting of himself hanging above his fireplace. That one is on him.

(courtesy of


This former editor and part-time writer at The Post is now happy to prove that if you combine 'blowhard' and 'blaggard,' you get 'blogger.' He previously had used 'Desmond Bieler' as his byline, but feels that shortening the first name to 'Des' nicely conveys his ever-decreasing gravitas. He also covers Fantasy Football.



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Des Bieler · July 17, 2014

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